There has been a highly fortunate death in the heterosexual male and female fraternity all over Africa and much of the rest of the undiscerning world.
Wentworth Miller of Prison Break fame is gay and not available to all the women who have been getting off on his magnetic (and very manly) good looks.
“OH MY GOD this is such hard news!!! “I’m shell shocked… speechless… I guess I always had a feeling but NEVER wanted it to b e true as a fan… MAN, why did he have to do this to us? He could have gone ahead with his life without making it public. I feel betrayed:( I know I have no right over him but just… *beep*!!! Please say something to make me feel better! I’m literally depressed now!
Just think of it as running for the bus, with hair flying, frantically screaming for the driver to wait, and then it pulls out and leaves just as you get to the bus’ door. That sheepish, embarrassed look as you glance around to see if anyone has noticed your craven exercise in futility is what you have in the Ugandan audience who didn’t know Miller was gay. They loved him and now they know they look foolish for they fawned over him while they were also saying homophobic things about gays in general.
It’s the kind of ‘oops’ moment that one would love to gleefully run away with but yours truly is too classy for that sort of gloating.
Sadly for them, they can’t have me either. Call it a double whammy – losing out on Miller and then not being able to have the best thing alive this side of creation in sub-Saharan Africa.
Not one to revel in other people’s misfortunes, I want to point all those homophobic straight men that looked up to Miller’s machismo and the straight women whose juices must have now dried up to a useful Liberace quotation that should surely help:
You can have either the Resurrection or you can have Liberace. But you can’t have both.
Since you can’t have me or Wentworth Miller … Resurrection anyone?