Once in a while you come across a person who speaks to you in ways that no one has.
A couple of days ago I discovered that person. As a matter of fact I have followed him on Facebook for some months, through the recommendation of a dear friend, but it was only a couple of days ago that I actually “read” him. It quickly became clear that I should have done so much sooner as this Nigerian man speaks a language most African gay men will identify with.
It would thus be a terrible shame not share him as widely as possible.
That person is a Nigerian man called Kenny Brandmuse. His real name is Kehinde Bademosi, and I am guessing (I haven’t read up on him that far back to be sure) that Kenny Brandmuse is an adulteration of his Nigerian name by someone in the West who was too lazy to learn to pronounce the Nigerian version correctly.
Anyhow here is an excerpt (with permission from Brandmuse) on how he got married to a woman despite knowing he was gay, despite his wife-to-be knowing that he had feelings for men, and despite even the marriage counselors knowing that he was physically and emotionally attracted to men. They all thought they could work miracles and make the feelings go away.
One of those pre-marriage days, while we were with our marriage counseling team, I brought up the issue again – that I had always had a preference for men. I wanted the Ministers to dissuade her from the marriage. I just couldn’t put a ring on a fat big lie. My father taught me one principle: DIE FOR YOUR OWN TRUTH, EVEN IF IT’S UNPOPULAR, BUT DON’T HARM OTHERS WITH IT. She was so happy to tell the ministers, as quickly as she could, that my feelings for men would all be gone, because she believed it was a childhood disorder. I guess she meant she was going to fck my brains into heterosexuality. This is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make.
It’s insightful reading which reveals the convulsions gay men go through as they attempt to marry away their homosexuality. If you are about to get married, or have already embarked on the road, read the article.
Mr. Bademosi has plenty of wisdom he shares on his Facebook page. Though it requires a bit of scrolling back, it is definitely worth the time.
I am so glad I finally started “reading” you Mr. Bademosi.