David Bahati’s financial woes resolved! Reply

Museveni has delivered Bahati's salvation where prayers failed!

In naming him minister, Museveni has delivered Bahati’s salvation where prayers failed!

Barely four months after he was elevated to State Minister, David Bahati, he of the infamous anti-gay bill, has had his financial woes resolved!

You might recall that yours truly told you that Uganda’s Yoweri Museveni had promoted Bahati in order to shut him up over his anti-gay boat-rocking.

Now, not only has Bahati been made to shut up, his financial problems have also been solved for him due to the fact that he is now a minister and can pull all sorts of strings to save his hide.

Congratulations Mr. Bahati. Now, how can I become a minister? I, too, am tired of this albatross of debt I grapple with on a daily basis.

Britain’s Labour Party continues to fight a lost war against Thatcherism Reply

First a disclaimer: I don’t want to be common or working class. I aspire to be as great as God intended me to be and I thus make a bee-line  to $700 Ferragamos, deliberately sidestepping cheaper footwear, just to feel that I am moving on up like the Jeffersons. 

I am also the kind of uppity voter Britain’s Labour party wishes to see pulled down as many pegs as possible in order for me to be the same as everyone else who is just getting by, preferably with a helping hand from the state. In other words, Britain’s Labour party still yearns for the long-lost days of mediocrity, resigned acceptance of one’s lot, anger and/or envy directed at anyone who seems remotely moneyed, happy, successful, or all three rolled into one. It is still very much a party of the sad and dowdy.

Margaret Thatcher - continues to rule Britain 25 years after she left office

Margaret Thatcher – continues to rule Britain 25 years after she left office

Labour’s obduracy is the stuff of legend because they have espoused that same tired “let’s all be equal” message since before the time of Margaret Thatcher, more than 35 years ago to no avail. You’d think that 35 years in the wilderness with a message your voters don’t want would goad you out of your stupor. But, no, not the British Labour party.

Their only successful prime minister in the last 35 years was Tony Blair who the voters shooed in repeatedly because he was Thatcherite. Alas, Labour replaced him with an old school dour socialist, Gordon Brown, and promptly lost the  next election. In came back yet another Thatcherite – the current prime Minister, David Cameron.

The British Tories understand my uppity mentality which, incidentally, is now the mentality of the voters in middle Britain who matter at the polls.

Why is any of this important?

Simple. One of Labour’s own, Chuka Umunna has exposed yet further Labour’s problem with accepting that their low-brow (and contradictory) message of redistribution that seeks to punish wealth creation and make everyone … common … has been rejected by Britain for 35 years now.

Thatcherite Chuka Umunna will struggle to make it in the Labour party.

Thatcherite Chuka Umunna will struggle to make it in the Labour party

Debonair to a fault, Umunna is upper-class-raised, ambitious, likes the fine life and has little interest in being working class or ordinary because he wasn’t raised to be!! Why he is in the Labour party beats me but it’s likely because back when he started out he thought it was the best party to overlook his skin color and elect a black man this side of 2020. The Tories haven’t been known to be as obliging even though that is changing. So, Umunna has been playing hide and seek with Labour, hoping that they overlook his Tory pedigree and instead focus on his pretend-interest in the working class.

Chuka Umunna shoe of choice; Prada

Chuka Umunna’s natural choice of footwear; Prada Spazzalato ($800)

But of course the core Labour grassroots member is still a jealous, unambitious, cry-baby who would rather get, get, get than work hard to succeed. He frowns on anyone who seems rich or heading to be rich because we should all be equal in the image of mediocrity and low expectations that they seek to see return to Britain. Umunna knew this and so he tried to hide his true Thatcherite colors by playing down his high brow champagne, jet-setting, lifestyle up to and including changing out of his Savile Row suits in the space of minutes, donning Doctor Martens and faded workman’s jeans to address the core Labour voters he needed to rise through the ranks of the party.

Labour's preferred footwear for all

Labour’s preferred footwear for all (Doc Martens – $70)

Which is why Labour is in deep trouble in Britain and especially in England where they must win if they are to ever return to power. As they continue to hope for a return to an England where everyone was ‘equal,’ where life was ‘fair,’ where it was fashionable to be dull and unattractive, middle England is voting firmly for less profligate government spending, more fiscal responsibility, stopping welfare cheats in their grubby tracks, tough immigration controls, having everyone pay their way rather than the state paying for them to loll about while the rest of the country goes to work, and deporting malcontents who have sworn allegiance to terrorist groups abroad.

That is what private-school-educated Chuka Umunna thinks as well and he admitted it recently when he said that Labour has just lost the last election because it was speaking too much against the rich and too much to the poor, without spending as much time speaking to the middle classes. It didn’t endear him to the Labour masses and he has turned tail before the ink was dry on his nomination papers.

Labour is thus going to elect yet another soggy socialist who must then go on to lose the next general election. And fittingly so. Unless, unless, the Tories implode over something thus far unseen.

I pray that they don’t – for the sake of my love of expensive shoes.

Maggie Thatcher’s legacy lives on – 35 years later 2

Margaret Thatcher - gone but still center stage 35 years later

Margaret Thatcher – gone but still center stage 35 years later

So, it’s official. Thatcherism is alive and well in Britain after 35 years, thank goodness.

The Scots have voted for independence through the backdoor, and all power to them. One wishes they had been more direct and done it at the referendum last year.

The Labour party now needs to wake up and smell the coffee – England isn’t impressed with their lowlife, cowardly, bland, socialist gobbledygook that merely encourages laziness and fleecing of the welfare system by work-shy scofflaws under the guise of “fairness,” when her politicians are not trying everything they can to hand over Britain’s sovereignty to unelected bullies in Brussels.

Maggie Thatcher is, I am sure, singing I Vow to thee My Country – and justifiably so – wherever she is.

Now,it’s time for Britain to take on the Europeans and show them where to get off. Welcome back David Cameron, Hon. Member for Witney in upscale Oxfordshire and Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Island.

Now we wait for America to usher in Hillary Clinton!

Kenny Brandmuse!!

Once in a while you come across a person who speaks to you in ways that no one has.

A couple of days ago I discovered that person. As a matter of fact I have followed him on Facebook for some months, through the recommendation of a dear friend, but it was only a couple of days ago that I actually “read” him. It quickly became clear that I should have done so much sooner as this Nigerian man speaks a language most African gay men will identify with.

It would thus be a terrible shame not share him as widely as possible.

Kenny Brandmuse (Kehinde Bademosi) growing older and wiser over the years

Kenny Brandmuse (Kehinde Bademosi) growing older and wiser over the years

That person is a Nigerian man called Kenny Brandmuse. His real name is Kehinde Bademosi, and I am guessing (I haven’t read up on him that far back to be sure) that Kenny Brandmuse is an adulteration of his Nigerian name by someone in the West who was too lazy to learn to pronounce the Nigerian version correctly.

Anyhow here is an excerpt (with permission from Brandmuse) on how he got married to a woman despite knowing he was gay, despite his wife-to-be knowing that he had feelings for men, and despite even the marriage counselors knowing that he was physically and emotionally attracted to men. They all thought they could work miracles and make the feelings go away.

Money quote:

One of those pre-marriage days, while we were with our marriage counseling team, I brought up the issue again – that I had always had a preference for men. I wanted the Ministers to dissuade her from the marriage. I just couldn’t put a ring on a fat big lie. My father taught me one principle: DIE FOR YOUR OWN TRUTH, EVEN IF IT’S UNPOPULAR, BUT DON’T HARM OTHERS WITH IT. She was so happy to tell the ministers, as quickly as she could, that my feelings for men would all be gone, because she believed it was a childhood disorder. I guess she meant she was going to fck my brains into heterosexuality. This is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make. 

It’s insightful reading which reveals the convulsions gay men go through as they attempt to marry away their homosexuality. If you are about to get married, or have already embarked on the road, read the article.

Mr. Bademosi has plenty of wisdom he shares on his Facebook page. Though it requires a bit of scrolling back, it is definitely worth the time.

I am so glad I finally started “reading” you Mr. Bademosi.

UNHCR to Ugandan LGBTI Asylum Seekers: stay in line! 1

In what amounts to a slap in the face to the Ugandan LGBTI waiting in Kenya for their asylum cases to be processed, the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) has told them to shut up and put up.

Read up on Kuchu Times the UNHCR’s response, following riots conducted by people purporting to be Ugandan LGBTI because their living allowances had been cut.

Money quote:

It is therefore of utmost importance that applicants keep a low profile and cooperate with UNHCR and partners as much as possible. During the last months numbers of Ugandan asylum seekers and refugees have camped in front of the UNHCR office in protest against the slow processing as well as the lack of automatic assistance. In some instances they have displayed violent behaviour. This will unfortunately not result in any acceleration of the overall procedures and only causes more delays, while the individuals are exposing themselves to more visibility, protection problems and the risk of police arrest and detention.

How did matters escalate so badly so that the UNHCR had to issue such a strongly worded warning?

Ugandans are a resourceful people who are, however, terribly poor at doing their homework before ‘jumping feet first’ into seemingly great schemes.

That is what happened here with all sorts of naïve boys being convinced by scam artists and/or misguided well-wishers that, following the signing of the anti-gay law by Uganda’s Yoweri Museveni in February 2014, if they ran to Kenya, they could claim that they were being persecuted for their sexuality in Uganda and get fast-tracked to settle in Norway, Denmark, Canada, the USA and elsewhere.

And so literally hundreds of [mostly] boys sold family silver, others abandoned relatively promising jobs, and boarded buses to Nairobi in search of gay asylum. At one point, earlier this year, the flood of arrivals into Kenya to claim asylum was running at 75 persons a day, ironically at a time when the anti-gay law had already been struck down by the courts in August 2014 and ‘normal’ gay living especially in Kampala had resumed without any major incidences of torture or persecution.

Of course it is not possible that 100% of arrivals in such an exodus were genuine asylum seekers or even gay at all. Ugandan attitudes towards homosexuality are broadly bad, but the level of risk has also been exaggerated by self seekers at home and abroad to such an extent that Uganda’s reputation is unfairly in the toilet compared to, say, Indiana, USA right now. 75 arrivals per day of genuine LGBTI asylum seekers from Uganda would mean that the entire gay population in Uganda was fleeing, which would constitute a human rights crisis so great that John Kerry, US Secretary of State, would have to make frantic phone calls to Yoweri Museveni threatening to expel the Ugandan ambassador and cut off diplomatic ties.

In any case, as the number of claimants, both bogus and genuine, rose to a torrent, the UNHCR was  inundated and overwhelmed. Something had to give.

The boys’ indiscipline didn’t help and reports have been legion about their drunken parties in domiciles being paid for by the UNHCR, outrageous gay shenanigans out on Nairobi’s streets, voluntary and involuntary prostitution, plus disorderly conduct in bars by a notable number of asylum seekers. Others were transferred to refugee camps in Northern Kenya only for them to discharge themselves and return to Nairobi because they were divas and life in the camps was “too tough.”

With the bad behavior, arrogance, entitlement attitude and the sheer numbers threatening to make a travesty of the entire program, the UNHCR, rightly, pulled the plug on the money to make sure they weren’t funding a junket of waste and foolishness. That was what led the Ugandan LGBTI boys to riot outside the UNHCR offices for their “rights” to a level where the police had to be called in to quell the disturbance they caused.

The UNHCR has now done the right thing by stepping back to root out any abuse there might be so that it doesn’t engulf the entire program.

Check out here advice given by Melanie Nathan, a woman who in the past didn’t seem too worried about jumping in feet first either to believe every sob story about gay persecution that she was fed from Uganda. In her piece she advises Ugandan LGBTI to get an education, learn a trade, get a job and stop acting as though the world owes them a living.

And rightly so.

“Money blinded UNHCR to LGBTI scams” in Nairobi 1

Following the reports about people trafficking from Uganda to Kenya under the guise of “gay persecution” it would appear that the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) may wittingly or otherwise be abetting the despicable people-smuggling scams taking place, many of them involving heterosexual people masquerading as persecuted gay people.

This (edited) excerpt from a concerned observer who asked not to be named, sheds light on the premise that money is driving the UN program at the expense of probity and thoroughness:

The UN was warned several times last year by some of us about the growing numbers of both LGBTIQs and ”straights” being trafficked. The [bona fide LGBTIQ] complained many months ago of large numbers of homophobic, abusive ”straights” who had piggy-backed the LGBTIQ (kuchus) exodus from UG and were being registered in Nairobi and Kakuma, due to UN’s casual registration procedures…..

We also realized that the ”refugee industry” being what it is, requires numbers. The more who register, the more money the UN gets especially when something is portrayed as a ”crisis’ as indeed the [LGBTI]exodus was. Some of these ”straights” have been identified as informants from Kampala on a fishing expedition. This was one of the causes of the big split which occurred in Kakuma last year, between kuchus and non-kuchus, which resulted in all the kuchus leaving Kakuma and the straights remaining there till now (also because of violent attacks on kuchus by other refugees in Kakuma, at which point non-kuchus would suddenly profile as ”straight”)….

Our intelligence also indicates that the massive trafficking of ”straights” (there are now more non-kuchus than kuchus in the process) is not just the enterprise of a few unscrupulous individuals, but is being actively sponsored by we-know-who in Kampala, partly to discredit those who are in the process as purely being ”economic migrants”. The last batch of 76 fake Kuchus who turned up at the UN two weeks ago had all been ”coached” with the same story of ”persecution” and were quick to say so.

It is disturbing that now even very genuine cases of Kuchu persecution in Kampala, involving torture, violence and imprisonment (with documentary evidence) are now doubted; registration is closed and financial assistance withheld from all Ugandans.

The Ugandans tried and gave up. The UN is a law unto itself -deaf beyond words. Some of the staff, mostly the Kenyans, are either homophobic or Uganda-phobic or both, though special training was given to them for this batch of asylum seekers. …

People traffickers infiltrate LGBTI asylum program in Kenya 1

Yours truly hinted at it recently, and now Eric Mawira Gitari has, too. Kuchu Times of Uganda carried a report alluding to it last month.

Scores of (mostly) boys and girls from Uganda are heading to Nairobi, lured there by promises that the UNHCR (the United Nations refugee agency)  will relocate them to yonder climes such as Norway, Canada and the United States if they claim gay persecution.

Eric Mawira Gitari summarizes the problem

Eric Mawira Gitari summarizes the problem

Needless to say, this has spawned a people trafficking and prostitution industry that now threatens to derail the entire humanitarian mission. One gathers that the exodus from Uganda to Kenya to claim asylum on account of ‘gay persecution’ has became a torrent with new arrivals overwhelming the UNHCR.

What seems to have tipped the balance was the gradual realization by the UN staffers that a lot of new arrivals’ tales of woe were not adding up even when they were not eerily similar. Someone was coaching the claimants.

When potential refugee claimants from Uganda and elsewhere arrived in Kenya to claim LGBTI asylum, they narrated their stories on which acceptance of their claims would be based. Then the UN provided some money for basic subsistence and the wait would begin. Some of the claimants ended up in refugee camps in Northern Kenya which have also been criticized for being harsh and uninhabitable by some of those housed there, but a number stayed around Nairobi, largely idle.

But what has caused most concern, and seems to have finally made the UN plug the spigot, were the reports  of boys that had claimed asylum engaging in prostitution, willingly and under duress. Then there were stories of refugee claimants throwing loud, drunken parties that got the attention of the police owing to their boisterousness. Questions were raised as to how they could afford these junkets when they were supposed to be poor and downtrodden.

Not to put too fine a point on it but the reality is that some of the boys who have run off to claim asylum in Kenya were misled into thinking that the process was easy and relocation to the West was automatic. A number thus abandoned reasonably promising employment pursuits in Uganda and are now languishing in hovels around Nairobi, with no medical care, limited funds and no guarantee that their claims will be accepted.

In the meantime, their numbers have swelled to a such a level, especially in the Kenyan capital, Nairobi, that the Kenyan nationals are themselves noticing them, and taking a dim view of their shenanigans.

With the UN reportedly suspending the registration of new-comers in order to streamline the process and make sure it isn’t being abused, life should get tougher for those already in Kenya even if they have a guarantee of being accepted for relocation to the West which they don’t.

The irony of course is that many of the asylum claimants from Uganda ran away from their country where no one was really after them on account of their sexuality, and have ended up in dire conditions in Kenya, with no support systems whatever, leading to their being taken advantage of due to their sexuality.

Your truly is not in the business of giving advice to adults but when one weighs the advantages and disadvantages of the process many of the Ugandan claimants have opted for, it seems relatively easy to realize what the best course of action should be for them.

But of course many of them have, to quote from Macbeth “stepped in so far that should wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o’er.” They have already committed too much to return home.

They’d better fasten their belts as it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Museveni receives David Bahati’s head on a platter 7

Anyone who underestimates the political astuteness of Uganda’s president, Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, makes a critical mistake.

We have just seen the old man of Uganda’s politics, now in power for 29 years and counting, outmaneuver and put his erstwhile nemesis, David Bahati, exactly where he wants him – close, very close.


With divine intervention unable to help him with his crippling debts, Bahati has succumbed to Museveni's inducement

With divine intervention unable to dispel his financial incompetence, Bahati has succumbed to Museveni’s inducements

Museveni has just made the Honorable David Bahati, Member of Parliament for Ndorwa West, he of the infamous Bahati Nazi Anti-Homosexuality Bill that has caused the president so many sleepless nights over the last 5 years, Minister of State for Planning.

The title itself, or that Bahati will have nothing to do – no one in Museveni’s cabinet, other than his wife, has anything significant to do without the president’s express nod – is of no consequence. It is the thinking behind Bahati’s elevation that matters.

While he dabbled in evangelical zealotry and walked around Gung-ho waving a Nazi sex bill President Museveni has never made a secret of disliking, Hon. David Bahati was also racking up huge debts whose servicing left him virtually unable to feed himself past pay-day. Recently, Bahati’s financial woes culminated in ignominy when it was revealed in the press that he was being sued by a Savings Cooperative for 106m/= ($37,800).

Despite his pretense to personal purity and godliness, the whole world now knew that Bahati was nothing other than a profligate, hypocritical, two-bit, vulnerable politician with the financial mind of an ignoramus – just like all the rest of them. Most critically, Bahati was against the wall and sinking fast under a mountain of debt owed to all sorts of lenders, including loan sharks.

Which is how Museveni, who had no doubt been waiting for the chance to pick off his pontificating nemesis, finally found his opportunity.

Elevating Bahati to a minister, albeit one without a clear job description, should earn Bahati a higher salary and open doors to for him to use his office to conduct personally lucrative deals, thereby alleviating his indebtedness. Perhaps he might even become rich if he plays the cards that come with his ministerial office right.

But most critically, and this is the real reason for Museveni picking Bahati, being in cabinet means that one has to agree to collective cabinet responsibility. In Uganda, the president is the decision-maker in cabinet, with ministers just mere poodles to do as he wishes. Effectively the president is the cabinet. Yoweri Museveni thus has Bahati exactly where he wants him – unable to speak out against the president’s wishes the way he has done with his anti-gay bill. This is a case of bringing one’s friends close, and one’s enemies even closer.

Financial penury has finally driven David Bahati into Yoweri Museveni’s lair.

You are not going to see David Bahati running around, shooting his mouth off like a loose cannon on a rolling deck on anything the president doesn’t approve of as long as he remains Museveni’s minister.

As was the result when Speaker of the House, Rebecca Kadaga, picked up her political racquet to try and outhit Museveni, the President has cruelly exposed the incoming Minister of State for Planning.

Quiet please, players are ready. First set 6-1 to Mr. President. Second set Mr. Bahati to serve.

The Gay Deception! 1

No, not a movie; the real deal!

No, not a movie; the real deal!

December 2014 and January 2015 came and went. With them came and went at least 100 weddings in Uganda as always happens in December and January. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that some of the spouses, male and female, unknowingly married a closet homosexual in some of those breathtakingly expensive ceremonies.

Yes, yes, yes, it’s totally true. At the very least 1% of the men and/or women who walked down the aisle to teary smiles and barely concealed relief from erstwhile concerned relatives were gay!

The incomparable Dr. Stella Nyanzi couldn’t have put it any better:

Dr, Nyanzi aptly captures the continuing deception

Dr, Nyanzi aptly captures the continuing deception

And one commentator on Dr. Nyanzi’s Facebook post puts a human face on the on-going tragedy. Edited money quote:

For the last 15 or so years, I’ve witnessed this right before my eyes …  On many an occasion, I’ve even willingly accepted to be the best man to many of these ‘weddings’ just for the sake of helping out a very good friend.

As it goes, some wives later found out and this is when disaster struck. Two of the women decided to keep to their vows of ‘for good and for worse.’ They are still hanging in there despite having all evidence that their husbands are indeed gay and just married them for the sake of appeasing their families. [Others] divorced, and BITTERLY, after the women found out. On one occasion I had to give evidence in the family court of how I had known my friend to have been gay his entire life. The woman’s family cursed and gave me only 30 days to live.

My advice is that if you are gay please don’t pretend to walk down the aisle with the opposite sex in the name of wanting to appease family and friends. You are putting the other unwanted (yes, UNWANTED) and unsuspecting ‘partner’ into an unforgettable dilemma. In a nutshell, stick to your lane – be it a bent one. You only have one life to live so don’t waste it trying to live that of others.

It would be the final nail in the coffin of the deception that is par for the course for many a Ugandan (and African gay man or woman) if at all anyone was really listening. Sadly, a lot of men and women are not because, of course, the families and friends to whom they feel beholden are still hovering over them and their private lives menacingly like a rain cloud.

It’s sad, truly sad. But it’s going to keep on happening as surely as darkness follows light because this is Africa where appearances will continue to matter far more than one’s personal integrity and … dare one say it … happiness.

Yours truly has his own experience of the harm these charades cause. The other day I was speaking with a friend who intimated that this lovely woman, married for some years, with kids, holding down a responsible job in Kampala is “les.” Knowing the woman, I asked “How did you know that?” which perhaps gave the game away completely. His answer, however, caught be by surprise. “Her lover is married to —” (name withheld but he is a prominent man in Uganda). “Really?” was my shocked response since I didn’t know about that part of the story.

You really learn something new every day.

Just remember that you won’t be the first or last. That man or woman you are marrying could indeed be … gay!!! And then you can go ahead and repent at leisure when you eventually find out.

I am no gay black African basket case! Please. 1

This is a paean to all our friends from abroad who come looking for me for information and, as most call it,” research material” to pad their narrative of what is going on around LGBTI issues in Uganda.

I am not an LGBTI activist, have never seen myself as one. I write about what catches my fancy and rail against anti-gay sentiment when I think there is a point to it.

In that light, I usually do not report gay “news” the way, for instance, Kenya’s Denis Nzioka does because gay life doesn’t put food on my table or pay for my Ferragamo shoe fetish. I comment on it when I think it is worth it but mostly shy away from the prolific reporting of everything. The reason for this is simple – I have no ability to confirm the veracity of the gay and anti-gay stories that reach my ears. More to the point, I am well aware that our boys and girls lie through their teeth in a bid to elicit sympathy from naïve and/or colonial-minded “savior” onlookers, if not other foreigners who themselves make a living off “caring” about poor black gay people in Africa.

I have met a number of foreigners in the past who were doing “research” here in Uganda. Others claimed to be writing novels with a Ugandan LGBTI theme. I came away with the sentiment that they were inexperienced, even ignorant, thrill seekers who didn’t understand the environment they were purporting to care about and who were thus doing more harm than good by creating the impression in the minds of hungry gay Ugandans that they could save them.

I thus now try to avoid these crusaders who seek my presence in their company when they visit or send me emissaries to make me lend my voice to their planned narrative.

Yet, in truth, they only have to read up on this blog to know what my views are. In brief, they are that foreigners should stop their condescending tendency to assume that without them there would be no gay Ugandans in existence. They should also stop pretending (or assuming) that they are of superior pedigree who have more to say about us than we do simply because they are white or from a foreign land. With that should then come the humility of getting on planes to come and look for “research material” only by invitation.

I am totally against foreigners telling me that I am suffering. I abhor them talking at me as though I have no ability to comprehend my circumstances.

Do we black gay people in Africa need help? Yes. What sort of help? HIV/Aids Awareness, access to lube and condoms, training on how to set up sustainable self-help financial projects so that we have enough money to stare down those who might think we are pitiable souls on account of our sexuality. We need to have the financial clout that muzzles friends and foes and they start singing our praises despite what they think of our sexuality. Money talks in Africa, too, and that is what we need in our bank accounts. If you can open up Fort Knox and send us at least $10m for each of our bank accounts, believe me at a stroke that will be the end of homophobia in Uganda as we know it.

That we are still struggling to make access to basic health care a given, more than 10 years after the first LGBTI organization set up in Uganda should tell a lot about us and how useful the kind of foreign “research” has been. No wonder some foreigners, in connivance with our own, have now opted for wholesale human trafficking of gay people from Uganda to wherever on the questionable grounds of “gay persecution.” Yet, in truth, the bigger enemy in LGBTI Uganda is poverty which is what makes us run away – claiming LGBTI persecution when in reality we are simply too poor to exist as gay men and women in our own country.

How about research material that will be needed by those we shall eventually ask help from? Train us to do the research. Since it is our story, we should be the ones telling it.

My final word to all those foreigners who come to Uganda to explore why I am a sad, put-upon, hounded, persecuted gay man at death’s door:

I am not an idiot who doesn’t recognize when I am suffering. So there is no need for you to volunteer to come to Uganda to find out how you can help me unless you come laden with bullion bars or briefcases full of $100 bills. $10m in my bank account is what I need to mount an anti-gay campaign in Uganda that will be so successful that it will close the chapter of homo antipathy within months. With two university degrees and exposure to at least half the world over the years, access to Twitter, Facebook and goodness knows what other social medium, if I need your bromides, or want to cry on your shoulder about my misery, I will let you know. Trust me on that.

Oh, on this I speak for myself. If you can find other miserable black basket cases that are desperate for your pity and charity, knock yourself out with them.