The Solution to Uganda’s (Africa’s?) Democratic Deficit Reply

Political commentators are tiptoeing around the solution to the democratic deficit in Uganda and most of sub-Saharan Africa – understandably so since it is politically incorrect to admit what needs to be done.

Until a person is informed well enough, it is dangerous to give him/her responsibility for anyone else, much less him/herself. It is why parents are expected to look after their children in the home till the age of 18 or so. Kids are kids and their parents must make decisions for them, only gradually relenting as their charges grow older, else you have bedlam in the household.

So it must be with the African voting masses. It is, for instance, incongruous that someone as knowledgeable, educated, well-traveled and intelligent as me has his leaders chosen by illiterate, uniformed, non-tax-paying rural dwellers simply because they make up 70% of the voting bloc. But that 70% is all Uganda’s cynical politicians have to appeal to with a bar of soap, a poorly constructed dirt road, pretense at education in the form of Universal Primary Education (a potentially freeing but poorly executed, half-baked education initiative in Uganda that provides unsound education for everyone who uses it) and a catchy jingle via text messaging.

Please note that my rant excludes rural dwellers that make a decent living from farming etc, and pay taxes.

City and town dwellers, blue-collar, middle and upper class people (20-30% of Uganda’s voting population) pay the nation’s taxes and so we should be the ones to choose who the leader of the country is. Villagers spend on average barely 1/10 of 1% of what we do on anything, meaning that even their consumption levels are inconsequential to Uganda’s economy. In addition, villagers usually depend on us for their own sustenance through the remittances we send them because their subsistence maize crop has failed, their 10th kid’s dysentery is playing up, or the 35-year-old son who’s never put in a decent day’s work in his life is days away from the grave due to his chronic alcoholism.

The 70% are thus comparatively irrelevant to the productive sector of Uganda’s economy. Yet they hold the numerical advantage, and their ignorance makes them easy targets to manipulate by tired, cynical, corrupt, megalomaniacal politicians, and so they continue voting back in miscreants and incompetents on account of receiving a tin of paraffin and a tawdry tee-shirt with a politician’s mug shot on it.

It is an utter disgrace that my informed intellect and tax-paying clout is deemed to be at par at the ballot box with the parasitic masses who contribute nothing to the national coffers. Until all Ugandans are educated to the level that makes them informed enough, people like me should be given the vote to decide who the country’s president and parliamentarians should be. That would leave the masses with plenty of time to choose their village representatives (RDCs, LCIs etc) because those work at the level these people understand. Whoever wants to be able to vote at a higher level must get informed, get a trade and pay taxes.

Terrible news! My Eric Mawira is upset! 1

Eric Mawira Gitari. Do you remember him?

He is the Kenyan man I swooned over recently and offered to marry on account of his sex appeal, cutting intellect and fearlessness.

Well, my crush, my Eric, is crushed, gutted, destroyed.

Specifically, Eric is tearing what’s left of his hair out on account of his president, Uhuru Kenyatta, pronouncing gay rights in Kenya “a non issue” in a podium response to American president, Barack Obama that was beamed across the entire African continent and the world.

eric mawira

Eric Mawira Gitari nearly giving himself cardiac arrest

But should Eric’s melancholy really be allowed to cast a pall on  what has, doubtless, been an exceptionally momentous week for Kenya and, paradoxically if you are not thinking far ahead, for gay rights in Kenya and Africa?

Eric my darling:

You risk looking naïve if you don’t realize that, like the American president currently stoking up a storm of excitement in Kenya that is akin to the Second Coming, Uhuru Kenyatta is an elected politician who has to keep an eye on the pulse of his voters. You confound watchers who are aware that, despite the American racial ulcers that have kept that great country in contortions for more than two centuries, Barack Obama put provision of health care for the most needy Americans on top of his political agenda in his first term of office.

Obama, too, seems to have spent more time talking about the need to stop a far away country developing nuclear weapons than he has about racial tensions in his backyard. Yes, my beautiful Eric, that country is Iran.

While he has been doing all that, Barack Obama has made a black man his country’s top legal eagle, a significant first that many often completely overlook. Then he has replaced him with a black woman. Yet another first, but who is counting?

In the meantime, the black deaths at the hands of the police in America have continued, as have the even higher deaths of black men and women at the hands of their own. Barack Obama has, however, not spoken much at the podium about what he is doing about them all. Might that be perhaps because even he doesn’t have the magic bullet to a problem that the richest country in the world hasn’t figured out how to solve in more than 200 years?

After you raise your head from hanging it on Facebook, my irresistible Gitari, you will, I imagine, accept that it is often not what politicians say on the podium, but what they do behind closed doors to effect change,that really matters, won’t you?

As a classic example, can you believe that while she was promising the world that she would never negotiate with terrorists, Margaret Thatcher was talking to Sinn Fein in secret? No, perhaps not. That was Britain so it doesn’t count, and you were still too young then anyway.

And while we are at it, isn’t it also true that today you can run a coach and horses through the space for dialogue that your current government has created between pivotal ministries (Health and Justice, for instance) and the gay community in Kenya? Or is that just a canard this lovelorn admirer of yours is making up in the tenuous hope that you will notice him finally and pay him some attention?

Finally, my indomitable Mawira: don’t you ascribe to the age-old adage that there is no such thing as bad publicity?

If you don’t, can you perhaps drop your self-pity for a couple of seconds and think about the significance of the leader of the free world and Kenya’s rather cool president (if you ask me) discussing corruption, that small thing that afflicts literally every one of Africa’s 1.2 billion people, and homosexuality, that absolutely critical issue which “afflicts” rather less, with all the world’s cameras following closely, beaming the sensible, sane, sober exchange directly into homes in rural Kogelo (Kenya) and Kotwa (Zimbabwe)?

Eric Mawira, my hot-blooded homosexual rights warrior:

I became besotted with you from a distance because I only fall in love with smart people. I must thus stop lecturing you and work on getting our unrequited love to the next level before your hyper-ventilating does you in.

Bill Cosby is guilty of living too long! Reply

Bill Cosby’s erstwhile solid reputation is in tatters.

His female accusers and their lawyers are cock-a-hoop.

In a 2005 deposition that a judge released last week under questionable circumstances, Cosby admitted that he’d in the past acquired Quaalude pills with the intention of using them during sexual activities with women.

Woa! See? We told you he is a rapist …. the women’s voices are gleefully shrieking.

But do these revelations really reveal anything new?

Not if you have a mind that appreciates the time in which the alleged sexual activities happened. Essentially, as your truly argued in this support off Bill Cosby, the 1970s and 80s were the days when wanton sex with mind-addling pills, marijuana, cocaine and all sorts of seemingly consequence-free frolicking was the done thing in the world of these larger than life ‘stars.’ The stars lapped it up of course and the women went along for the ride.

As a friend I was talking to the other day observed, it wasn’t called the casting couch for nothing – there was unspoken understanding that things would happen to women before they were cast in parts and, unseemly as one may consider it now, that was how things were done.

So, with the purchase of these ‘sex’ pills, Bill Cosby was just blending in with what everyone in his circles and beyond did at that time. If they were still alive, you can be sure Sammy Davis Junior, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin would now be busy picking through their past in trepidation at who would accuse them, too.

The women knew, even welcomed the opportunity to go on their knees and blow these seemingly hallowed guys and they indulged in whatever they did willingly. How else can one explain the endless bee line to Hugh Heffner’s house of debauchery where everyone seems to agree there was far more than glasses of booze imbibed by all, including 15-year-old girls who shouldn’t have been present at Hefner’s Playboy Mansion, itself a symbol of the unfettered hedonism of those days?

So, the women remain Dickensian Miss Havisham-like accusers; dredging up accusations from 30-40 years ago to expiate their guilt for the decisions they made then but have since regretted at leisure. Someone must now pay and that person is Bill Cosby. They have been handed a vehicle to rid themselves of the shame, if not make some money off of it, by a supportive culture that allows anyone to claim they were or are a victim whenever they wish.

Cosby is a sitting duck and, sadly, will have to pay the price for living too long.

David Bahati’s financial woes resolved!

Museveni has delivered Bahati's salvation where prayers failed!

In naming him minister, Museveni has delivered Bahati’s salvation where prayers failed!

Barely four months after he was elevated to State Minister, David Bahati, he of the infamous anti-gay bill, has had his financial woes resolved!

You might recall that yours truly told you that Uganda’s Yoweri Museveni had promoted Bahati in order to shut him up over his anti-gay boat-rocking.

Now, not only has Bahati been made to shut up, his financial problems have also been solved for him due to the fact that he is now a minister and can pull all sorts of strings to save his hide.

Congratulations Mr. Bahati. Now, how can I become a minister? I, too, am tired of this albatross of debt I grapple with on a daily basis.

Britain’s Labour Party continues to fight a lost war against Thatcherism

First a disclaimer: I don’t want to be common or working class. I aspire to be as great as God intended me to be and I thus make a bee-line  to $700 Ferragamos, deliberately sidestepping cheaper footwear, just to feel that I am moving on up like the Jeffersons. 

I am also the kind of uppity voter Britain’s Labour party wishes to see pulled down as many pegs as possible in order for me to be the same as everyone else who is just getting by, preferably with a helping hand from the state. In other words, Britain’s Labour party still yearns for the long-lost days of mediocrity, resigned acceptance of one’s lot, anger and/or envy directed at anyone who seems remotely moneyed, happy, successful, or all three rolled into one. It is still very much a party of the sad and dowdy.

Margaret Thatcher - continues to rule Britain 25 years after she left office

Margaret Thatcher – continues to rule Britain 25 years after she left office

Labour’s obduracy is the stuff of legend because they have espoused that same tired “let’s all be equal” message since before the time of Margaret Thatcher, more than 35 years ago to no avail. You’d think that 35 years in the wilderness with a message your voters don’t want would goad you out of your stupor. But, no, not the British Labour party.

Their only successful prime minister in the last 35 years was Tony Blair who the voters shooed in repeatedly because he was Thatcherite. Alas, Labour replaced him with an old school dour socialist, Gordon Brown, and promptly lost the  next election. In came back yet another Thatcherite – the current prime Minister, David Cameron.

The British Tories understand my uppity mentality which, incidentally, is now the mentality of the voters in middle Britain who matter at the polls.

Why is any of this important?

Simple. One of Labour’s own, Chuka Umunna has exposed yet further Labour’s problem with accepting that their low-brow (and contradictory) message of redistribution that seeks to punish wealth creation and make everyone … common … has been rejected by Britain for 35 years now.

Thatcherite Chuka Umunna will struggle to make it in the Labour party.

Thatcherite Chuka Umunna will struggle to make it in the Labour party

Debonair to a fault, Umunna is upper-class-raised, ambitious, likes the fine life and has little interest in being working class or ordinary because he wasn’t raised to be!! Why he is in the Labour party beats me but it’s likely because back when he started out he thought it was the best party to overlook his skin color and elect a black man this side of 2020. The Tories haven’t been known to be as obliging even though that is changing. So, Umunna has been playing hide and seek with Labour, hoping that they overlook his Tory pedigree and instead focus on his pretend-interest in the working class.

Chuka Umunna shoe of choice; Prada

Chuka Umunna’s natural choice of footwear; Prada Spazzalato ($800)

But of course the core Labour grassroots member is still a jealous, unambitious, cry-baby who would rather get, get, get than work hard to succeed. He frowns on anyone who seems rich or heading to be rich because we should all be equal in the image of mediocrity and low expectations that they seek to see return to Britain. Umunna knew this and so he tried to hide his true Thatcherite colors by playing down his high brow champagne, jet-setting, lifestyle up to and including changing out of his Savile Row suits in the space of minutes, donning Doctor Martens and faded workman’s jeans to address the core Labour voters he needed to rise through the ranks of the party.

Labour's preferred footwear for all

Labour’s preferred footwear for all (Doc Martens – $70)

Which is why Labour is in deep trouble in Britain and especially in England where they must win if they are to ever return to power. As they continue to hope for a return to an England where everyone was ‘equal,’ where life was ‘fair,’ where it was fashionable to be dull and unattractive, middle England is voting firmly for less profligate government spending, more fiscal responsibility, stopping welfare cheats in their grubby tracks, tough immigration controls, having everyone pay their way rather than the state paying for them to loll about while the rest of the country goes to work, and deporting malcontents who have sworn allegiance to terrorist groups abroad.

That is what private-school-educated Chuka Umunna thinks as well and he admitted it recently when he said that Labour has just lost the last election because it was speaking too much against the rich and too much to the poor, without spending as much time speaking to the middle classes. It didn’t endear him to the Labour masses and he has turned tail before the ink was dry on his nomination papers.

Labour is thus going to elect yet another soggy socialist who must then go on to lose the next general election. And fittingly so. Unless, unless, the Tories implode over something thus far unseen.

I pray that they don’t – for the sake of my love of expensive shoes.

Maggie Thatcher’s legacy lives on – 35 years later 2

Margaret Thatcher - gone but still center stage 35 years later

Margaret Thatcher – gone but still center stage 35 years later

So, it’s official. Thatcherism is alive and well in Britain after 35 years, thank goodness.

The Scots have voted for independence through the backdoor, and all power to them. One wishes they had been more direct and done it at the referendum last year.

The Labour party now needs to wake up and smell the coffee – England isn’t impressed with their lowlife, cowardly, bland, socialist gobbledygook that merely encourages laziness and fleecing of the welfare system by work-shy scofflaws under the guise of “fairness,” when her politicians are not trying everything they can to hand over Britain’s sovereignty to unelected bullies in Brussels.

Maggie Thatcher is, I am sure, singing I Vow to thee My Country – and justifiably so – wherever she is.

Now,it’s time for Britain to take on the Europeans and show them where to get off. Welcome back David Cameron, Hon. Member for Witney in upscale Oxfordshire and Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Island.

Now we wait for America to usher in Hillary Clinton!

Kenny Brandmuse!!

Once in a while you come across a person who speaks to you in ways that no one has.

A couple of days ago I discovered that person. As a matter of fact I have followed him on Facebook for some months, through the recommendation of a dear friend, but it was only a couple of days ago that I actually “read” him. It quickly became clear that I should have done so much sooner as this Nigerian man speaks a language most African gay men will identify with.

It would thus be a terrible shame not share him as widely as possible.

Kenny Brandmuse (Kehinde Bademosi) growing older and wiser over the years

Kenny Brandmuse (Kehinde Bademosi) growing older and wiser over the years

That person is a Nigerian man called Kenny Brandmuse. His real name is Kehinde Bademosi, and I am guessing (I haven’t read up on him that far back to be sure) that Kenny Brandmuse is an adulteration of his Nigerian name by someone in the West who was too lazy to learn to pronounce the Nigerian version correctly.

Anyhow here is an excerpt (with permission from Brandmuse) on how he got married to a woman despite knowing he was gay, despite his wife-to-be knowing that he had feelings for men, and despite even the marriage counselors knowing that he was physically and emotionally attracted to men. They all thought they could work miracles and make the feelings go away.

Money quote:

One of those pre-marriage days, while we were with our marriage counseling team, I brought up the issue again – that I had always had a preference for men. I wanted the Ministers to dissuade her from the marriage. I just couldn’t put a ring on a fat big lie. My father taught me one principle: DIE FOR YOUR OWN TRUTH, EVEN IF IT’S UNPOPULAR, BUT DON’T HARM OTHERS WITH IT. She was so happy to tell the ministers, as quickly as she could, that my feelings for men would all be gone, because she believed it was a childhood disorder. I guess she meant she was going to fck my brains into heterosexuality. This is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make. 

It’s insightful reading which reveals the convulsions gay men go through as they attempt to marry away their homosexuality. If you are about to get married, or have already embarked on the road, read the article.

Mr. Bademosi has plenty of wisdom he shares on his Facebook page. Though it requires a bit of scrolling back, it is definitely worth the time.

I am so glad I finally started “reading” you Mr. Bademosi.

UNHCR to Ugandan LGBTI Asylum Seekers: stay in line! 1

In what amounts to a slap in the face to the Ugandan LGBTI waiting in Kenya for their asylum cases to be processed, the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) has told them to shut up and put up.

Read up on Kuchu Times the UNHCR’s response, following riots conducted by people purporting to be Ugandan LGBTI because their living allowances had been cut.

Money quote:

It is therefore of utmost importance that applicants keep a low profile and cooperate with UNHCR and partners as much as possible. During the last months numbers of Ugandan asylum seekers and refugees have camped in front of the UNHCR office in protest against the slow processing as well as the lack of automatic assistance. In some instances they have displayed violent behaviour. This will unfortunately not result in any acceleration of the overall procedures and only causes more delays, while the individuals are exposing themselves to more visibility, protection problems and the risk of police arrest and detention.

How did matters escalate so badly so that the UNHCR had to issue such a strongly worded warning?

Ugandans are a resourceful people who are, however, terribly poor at doing their homework before ‘jumping feet first’ into seemingly great schemes.

That is what happened here with all sorts of naïve boys being convinced by scam artists and/or misguided well-wishers that, following the signing of the anti-gay law by Uganda’s Yoweri Museveni in February 2014, if they ran to Kenya, they could claim that they were being persecuted for their sexuality in Uganda and get fast-tracked to settle in Norway, Denmark, Canada, the USA and elsewhere.

And so literally hundreds of [mostly] boys sold family silver, others abandoned relatively promising jobs, and boarded buses to Nairobi in search of gay asylum. At one point, earlier this year, the flood of arrivals into Kenya to claim asylum was running at 75 persons a day, ironically at a time when the anti-gay law had already been struck down by the courts in August 2014 and ‘normal’ gay living especially in Kampala had resumed without any major incidences of torture or persecution.

Of course it is not possible that 100% of arrivals in such an exodus were genuine asylum seekers or even gay at all. Ugandan attitudes towards homosexuality are broadly bad, but the level of risk has also been exaggerated by self seekers at home and abroad to such an extent that Uganda’s reputation is unfairly in the toilet compared to, say, Indiana, USA right now. 75 arrivals per day of genuine LGBTI asylum seekers from Uganda would mean that the entire gay population in Uganda was fleeing, which would constitute a human rights crisis so great that John Kerry, US Secretary of State, would have to make frantic phone calls to Yoweri Museveni threatening to expel the Ugandan ambassador and cut off diplomatic ties.

In any case, as the number of claimants, both bogus and genuine, rose to a torrent, the UNHCR was  inundated and overwhelmed. Something had to give.

The boys’ indiscipline didn’t help and reports have been legion about their drunken parties in domiciles being paid for by the UNHCR, outrageous gay shenanigans out on Nairobi’s streets, voluntary and involuntary prostitution, plus disorderly conduct in bars by a notable number of asylum seekers. Others were transferred to refugee camps in Northern Kenya only for them to discharge themselves and return to Nairobi because they were divas and life in the camps was “too tough.”

With the bad behavior, arrogance, entitlement attitude and the sheer numbers threatening to make a travesty of the entire program, the UNHCR, rightly, pulled the plug on the money to make sure they weren’t funding a junket of waste and foolishness. That was what led the Ugandan LGBTI boys to riot outside the UNHCR offices for their “rights” to a level where the police had to be called in to quell the disturbance they caused.

The UNHCR has now done the right thing by stepping back to root out any abuse there might be so that it doesn’t engulf the entire program.

Check out here advice given by Melanie Nathan, a woman who in the past didn’t seem too worried about jumping in feet first either to believe every sob story about gay persecution that she was fed from Uganda. In her piece she advises Ugandan LGBTI to get an education, learn a trade, get a job and stop acting as though the world owes them a living.

And rightly so.

“Money blinded UNHCR to LGBTI scams” in Nairobi 1

Following the reports about people trafficking from Uganda to Kenya under the guise of “gay persecution” it would appear that the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) may wittingly or otherwise be abetting the despicable people-smuggling scams taking place, many of them involving heterosexual people masquerading as persecuted gay people.

This (edited) excerpt from a concerned observer who asked not to be named, sheds light on the premise that money is driving the UN program at the expense of probity and thoroughness:

The UN was warned several times last year by some of us about the growing numbers of both LGBTIQs and ”straights” being trafficked. The [bona fide LGBTIQ] complained many months ago of large numbers of homophobic, abusive ”straights” who had piggy-backed the LGBTIQ (kuchus) exodus from UG and were being registered in Nairobi and Kakuma, due to UN’s casual registration procedures…..

We also realized that the ”refugee industry” being what it is, requires numbers. The more who register, the more money the UN gets especially when something is portrayed as a ”crisis’ as indeed the [LGBTI]exodus was. Some of these ”straights” have been identified as informants from Kampala on a fishing expedition. This was one of the causes of the big split which occurred in Kakuma last year, between kuchus and non-kuchus, which resulted in all the kuchus leaving Kakuma and the straights remaining there till now (also because of violent attacks on kuchus by other refugees in Kakuma, at which point non-kuchus would suddenly profile as ”straight”)….

Our intelligence also indicates that the massive trafficking of ”straights” (there are now more non-kuchus than kuchus in the process) is not just the enterprise of a few unscrupulous individuals, but is being actively sponsored by we-know-who in Kampala, partly to discredit those who are in the process as purely being ”economic migrants”. The last batch of 76 fake Kuchus who turned up at the UN two weeks ago had all been ”coached” with the same story of ”persecution” and were quick to say so.

It is disturbing that now even very genuine cases of Kuchu persecution in Kampala, involving torture, violence and imprisonment (with documentary evidence) are now doubted; registration is closed and financial assistance withheld from all Ugandans.

The Ugandans tried and gave up. The UN is a law unto itself -deaf beyond words. Some of the staff, mostly the Kenyans, are either homophobic or Uganda-phobic or both, though special training was given to them for this batch of asylum seekers. …

People traffickers infiltrate LGBTI asylum program in Kenya 1

Yours truly hinted at it recently, and now Eric Mawira Gitari has, too. Kuchu Times of Uganda carried a report alluding to it last month.

Scores of (mostly) boys and girls from Uganda are heading to Nairobi, lured there by promises that the UNHCR (the United Nations refugee agency)  will relocate them to yonder climes such as Norway, Canada and the United States if they claim gay persecution.

Eric Mawira Gitari summarizes the problem

Eric Mawira Gitari summarizes the problem

Needless to say, this has spawned a people trafficking and prostitution industry that now threatens to derail the entire humanitarian mission. One gathers that the exodus from Uganda to Kenya to claim asylum on account of ‘gay persecution’ has became a torrent with new arrivals overwhelming the UNHCR.

What seems to have tipped the balance was the gradual realization by the UN staffers that a lot of new arrivals’ tales of woe were not adding up even when they were not eerily similar. Someone was coaching the claimants.

When potential refugee claimants from Uganda and elsewhere arrived in Kenya to claim LGBTI asylum, they narrated their stories on which acceptance of their claims would be based. Then the UN provided some money for basic subsistence and the wait would begin. Some of the claimants ended up in refugee camps in Northern Kenya which have also been criticized for being harsh and uninhabitable by some of those housed there, but a number stayed around Nairobi, largely idle.

But what has caused most concern, and seems to have finally made the UN plug the spigot, were the reports  of boys that had claimed asylum engaging in prostitution, willingly and under duress. Then there were stories of refugee claimants throwing loud, drunken parties that got the attention of the police owing to their boisterousness. Questions were raised as to how they could afford these junkets when they were supposed to be poor and downtrodden.

Not to put too fine a point on it but the reality is that some of the boys who have run off to claim asylum in Kenya were misled into thinking that the process was easy and relocation to the West was automatic. A number thus abandoned reasonably promising employment pursuits in Uganda and are now languishing in hovels around Nairobi, with no medical care, limited funds and no guarantee that their claims will be accepted.

In the meantime, their numbers have swelled to a such a level, especially in the Kenyan capital, Nairobi, that the Kenyan nationals are themselves noticing them, and taking a dim view of their shenanigans.

With the UN reportedly suspending the registration of new-comers in order to streamline the process and make sure it isn’t being abused, life should get tougher for those already in Kenya even if they have a guarantee of being accepted for relocation to the West which they don’t.

The irony of course is that many of the asylum claimants from Uganda ran away from their country where no one was really after them on account of their sexuality, and have ended up in dire conditions in Kenya, with no support systems whatever, leading to their being taken advantage of due to their sexuality.

Your truly is not in the business of giving advice to adults but when one weighs the advantages and disadvantages of the process many of the Ugandan claimants have opted for, it seems relatively easy to realize what the best course of action should be for them.

But of course many of them have, to quote from Macbeth “stepped in so far that should wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o’er.” They have already committed too much to return home.

They’d better fasten their belts as it’s going to be a bumpy ride.