December 2014 and January 2015 came and went. With them came and went at least 100 weddings in Uganda as always happens in December and January. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that some of the spouses, male and female, unknowingly married a closet homosexual in some of those breathtakingly expensive ceremonies.
Yes, yes, yes, it’s totally true. At the very least 1% of the men and/or women who walked down the aisle to teary smiles and barely concealed relief from erstwhile concerned relatives were gay!
The incomparable Dr. Stella Nyanzi couldn’t have put it any better:
And one commentator on Dr. Nyanzi’s Facebook post puts a human face on the on-going tragedy. Edited money quote:
For the last 15 or so years, I’ve witnessed this right before my eyes … On many an occasion, I’ve even willingly accepted to be the best man to many of these ‘weddings’ just for the sake of helping out a very good friend.
As it goes, some wives later found out and this is when disaster struck. Two of the women decided to keep to their vows of ‘for good and for worse.’ They are still hanging in there despite having all evidence that their husbands are indeed gay and just married them for the sake of appeasing their families. [Others] divorced, and BITTERLY, after the women found out. On one occasion I had to give evidence in the family court of how I had known my friend to have been gay his entire life. The woman’s family cursed and gave me only 30 days to live.
My advice is that if you are gay please don’t pretend to walk down the aisle with the opposite sex in the name of wanting to appease family and friends. You are putting the other unwanted (yes, UNWANTED) and unsuspecting ‘partner’ into an unforgettable dilemma. In a nutshell, stick to your lane – be it a bent one. You only have one life to live so don’t waste it trying to live that of others.
It would be the final nail in the coffin of the deception that is par for the course for many a Ugandan (and African gay man or woman) if at all anyone was really listening. Sadly, a lot of men and women are not because, of course, the families and friends to whom they feel beholden are still hovering over them and their private lives menacingly like a rain cloud.
It’s sad, truly sad. But it’s going to keep on happening as surely as darkness follows light because this is Africa where appearances will continue to matter far more than one’s personal integrity and … dare one say it … happiness.
Yours truly has his own experience of the harm these charades cause. The other day I was speaking with a friend who intimated that this lovely woman, married for some years, with kids, holding down a responsible job in Kampala is “les.” Knowing the woman, I asked “How did you know that?” which perhaps gave the game away completely. His answer, however, caught be by surprise. “Her lover is married to —” (name withheld but he is a prominent man in Uganda). “Really?” was my shocked response since I didn’t know about that part of the story.
You really learn something new every day.
Just remember that you won’t be the first or last. That man or woman you are marrying could indeed be … gay!!! And then you can go ahead and repent at leisure when you eventually find out.