Homosexuality and Homo-pedophilia ARE NOT the same thing! Please. 3

Uganda’s press and police stoke anti-gay paranoia

Talk about being in the dog’s house.

The dreadful headlines seem endless, and there is no use pretending that now is a great time to be gay in Uganda.

Here is another report suggesting that the police have taken the anti-sodomy campaign to schools. AfroGay knows a thing or two about consensual homosexual activity in schools, having been a willing participant as a young man. He would support anything to save children from being victimized by sexual predators in school, but of course as tends to be the case, most predatory homosexual activity happens outside of the confines of schools. More to the point, most homosexual activity in schools is between people of the same age-group and cannot, therefore, be put in the same category as predatory homo-sodomy that victimises children.

Money quote from misleading The Observer article:

The problem is that the alleged crime did not happen in school as the story suggests. The alleged pedophile just happened to be a teacher, but it could very well have been anyone else living in the neighborhood. Indulging in sex with a minor is already a crime under the laws of Uganda because it is pedophilia.

So what campaign exactly is the police taking to schools? A campaign to warn teachers against defiling minors or against waylaying children outside of school hours? Might it perhaps be a campaign to teach children how to prevent being defiled by older men? Both would be most laudable campaigns, of course, but what have they to do with homosexuality?

And where exactly is the evidence that to defile young boys and to be homosexual are one and the same thing as The Observer article suggests? Is it me or do others notice the pernicious campaign by the press and police in these Third World backwaters to stir up paranoia by creating the [totally wrong] impression in the minds of their audience that homosexuality and homo-pedophilia are one and the same thing?

What is to be done about these drip-drip reports that are so damaging and totally misleading?

Uganda’s Anti-Gay Bill Battle Is Joined 1

I am fighting an e-mail battle over Uganda’s Anti-Gay bill with a young Ugandan man I have come to see as a friend of sorts. He is a trifle excited about the bill and today I opened my e-mail to find the reason for his excitement.

What should worry a lot of us is that there must be a lot of young people like him whose understanding of the issues is based on perception rather than reality. I, for instance, don’t believe that he has first hand knowledge of underage boys who have been infected with HIV/Aids through homosexual encounters. He is simply not the type of person who has such in-depth knowledge about information like that for the simple reason that he is not a medical doctor, psychiatrist, social worker or counselor. But he might have read Mary Karooro-Okurut’s spurious claims on this subject a couple of months ago and concluded, like many did no doubt, that if Karooro-Okurut writes it, it must be fact.

A simple test would be whether he actually also witnessed the homosexual action or just heard stories. The latter is the more likely scenario, for who would have gay sex with a minor while my young friend was watching? This of course makes my friend’s claims, just like Mary Karooro-Okurut’s hearsay. It is one thing for someone, anyone, to claim to have caught HIV/Aids from someone else – it is quite another for the claim to be provably true.

I am going to paraphrase the young man’s e-mail as best I can to make it comprehensible to anyone who is not Generation Y, and might not understand the original. Both the original version and my transcription are included below:

Him: u see the thing is that i had seen wit ma own eyes quite a number of young boys who had fallen victim to such errant men with no controll.infact some of them contracted the HIV/AIDS virus.so u mst understand my anguish here.i min i dnt mind wen u do to a person who is fully grown up aand ofcourse wit their ‘consent’ bt young boys,it was that bad.
Something had to be done about it!and i min controlled because it was getting out of hand here.
so i ges u cn understand my sentiments here.so is the land of opportunity turning out lyk how u expected it to?

My transcription: You see, the thing is that I have seen with my own eyes quite a number of young boys who have fallen victim to such errant men with no control. In fact some of them contracted the HIV/Aids virus. So you must understand my anguish here. I mean, I don’t mind when you do a person who is fully grown up and of course with their consent, but young boys? It was that bad. Something had to be done about it. And I mean controlled because it was getting out of hand here.

So I guess you can understand my sentiments here. So is the land of opportunity turning out like you expected it to?

And this was my verbatim response to this young man:

You are educated. Having sex, any kind of sex with a minor is statutory rape and there is already a punishment for that on the statute books. This new law is not going to add anything to the already existing law.

Remember, too, that men, old men, have sex all the time with girls in their mid teens or worse, often with the consent of the parents. I have too much respect for you to tell you in which category these types of men tend to fall but you can think … religion … and you will figure it out. But do you see Parliament running around making a separate law for such men? Of course not – and the reason is that the laws against having sex with underage children already exist but are being ignored in some categories especially where religion is concerned.

Please understand something; this law has nothing to do with boys who are under age being buggered. It is about attempting to tar a cross section of the population as criminals due to who they are rather than what they have done. This law seeks to punish feelings; feelings that we cannot do anything about, but which of course we act upon with people who are willing to act with us. You know I am gay but you don’t know anything gay that I have done; in fact, before
I confirmed to you what I was, you didn’t even know for sure that I was gay. But under this proposal, just knowing that I am gay would be enough for you to go the police. And admitting that I am gay would mean that I am a criminal. That breaches every law of human rights that I know of.

If you want to understand what it means, just imagine if your brother were gay, for he could very well be as we don’t have any control over what our relatives become. Are you telling me that you would wish for him to be branded a criminal simply because of who he is? I know Muslim friends of yours who are gay, but you don’t know that they are because they hide it well. Are you saying
that suddenly they should be criminalized over their sexuality? But why should they when they are not criminals to you now? How can someone’s sexuality make them a criminal?

See what I mean?

I hope so.

Related Reading

Is this the Church lecturing us on homosexuality? 1

I have just seen this very troubling story in the New York Times today about a mother, her son, and the priest who fathered the child.

The Rev. Henry Willenborg, a Roman Catholic priest
in Quincy, Ill., in 1987 performing the baptism of his son, Nathan.

Money Quotes/Excerpts:

In public, they were both leaders in their Catholic community in Quincy, Ill. In private they functioned like a married couple, sharing a bed, meals, movie nights and vacations with the children. Eventually they had a son, setting off a series of legal battles as Ms. Bond repeatedly petitioned the church for child support. The Franciscans acquiesced, with the stipulation that she sign a confidentiality agreement. …

… the church was tightfisted with her as she tried to care for her son, particularly as his cancer treatments grew more costly. But they also show that Father Willenborg suffered virtually no punishment, continuing to serve in a variety of church posts. …

Father Willenborg, is currently the senior pastor of Our Lady of the Lake, a large, historic parish of 1,350 families on the shores of Lake Superior in Ashland, Wis. … Afterward, in his office, he acknowledged that he does have a son, is aware his son is terminally ill, and said … he did not want to talk about the situation, and pointed out that Ms. Bond had more to lose than he did because she had signed a confidentiality agreement that, if broken, requires her to pay a penalty. …

Father Willenborg’s Franciscan superiors were aware of his relationship with Ms. Bond well before Nathan was born. A year earlier, Father Willenborg and Ms. Bond had conceived another child. Ms. Bond said that Father Willenborg suggested she have an abortion, which she found unthinkable. …

Father Willenborg himself performed the baptism. …

An unexpected turn of events brought their idyll to an end. A young woman showed up at Ms. Bond’s house in a rage. She told Ms. Bond that she had been in a sexual relationship with Father Willenborg for years, since she was in high school. (Reached by phone last week, the woman confirmed the relationship, and said it had caused her a lifetime of pain. … ) Immediately, the Franciscans sent Father Willenborg to a treatment center in New Mexico run by a religious order, for priests with sexual disorders and substance addictions.

In a deposition years later, Father Willenborg said that the Franciscans had never disciplined him, and never suggested that he leave religious life. He was assigned to … the headquarters of his order’s province in St. Louis to oversee “spiritual formation” for priests, which includes educating them on how to remain celibate. …

She said that in 25 years, Good Tidings had been contacted by nearly 2,000 women who said they were involved with priests, many who had signed child support and confidentiality agreements like Ms. Bond’s. There are similar support groups in at least seven countries.

In the next few years, Nathan ([the priest's son] said his disappointment grew. Father Willenborg did not visit, though he lived only 15 minutes away. … Nathan is now so ill that he rarely leaves his house except for hospital visits. The highlight of his day is lumbering to the mailbox, leaning on his mother, who was told recently by doctors that she had carcinoid tumors in her appendix and colon. Strangers who get Nathan’s name and address from Web sites for cancer victims send him dozens of cards, often homemade, urging him not to give up. Recently the mail included a card from Father Willenborg.

“I never understood,” Nathan said, “why he thought cards could make it all O.K.”

And this is the Catholic Church that turns around and lectures anyone about adult consensual homosexual relationships?

Pass the vomit bucket.

Ugandan Homosexuals Face the Death Penalty 2

It’s official – Uganda’s Parliament is working on a Homosexuality bill that would lead to a cross-section of its people jailed for life and/or murdered because of who they are!! NAZI Germany is being revived in Uganda – with the support of Parliament! The Bill has been sponsored by David Bahati (National Resistance Movement) and Benson Obua Ogwal (Uganda People’s Congress).

Money quote:

The language and spirit of the entire bill is too distressing to dwell upon at this time. Take the trouble and read it for yourself.

Related Reading:

* Anti Gay Pastors petition Parliament

* Anti-Gay Bill; why we should all be very afraid

* Anti Gay Law Not Necessary

* Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill 2009

* Anti Gay Law Tabled


Anti-Gay Law Not Necessary – Opposition MP

Unfortunately for them, they are not listening because they never do. Elias Lukwago, Kampala MP and legal counsel extraordinaire has warned Parliament about the folly of the anti-gay bill currently doing the rounds in Uganda’s Parliament.

And his argument is that “there are other laws Government can use to regulate the practice.”

Again, as I have argued here and elsewhere, we are best advised to keep our powder dry for the real battle if the bill is ever passed and signed into law. So, I for one don’t plan on saying too much about the nuts and bolts of what is wrong with it. And the reason is simple: if we point out what is wrong with it now, our detractors will use what we say to clean up the bill. Best then to shout foul as loud as we can on the discriminatory elements of the bill without guiding them around the glaring technical, legal, constitutional and human rights minefield they are sleep-walking towards with this bill.

Related Reading:

1. Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill 2009


Homosexuality – Perspectives From Uganda

In 2007 we wrote a book. By ‘we’ I mean a group of Ugandan gay men and women wrote articles which were compiled into a highly readable and educational book. Copies were made available to all members of Parliament (this was in the run-up to the Commonwealth Heads of Government Summit, and this was our effort to ensure that homosexuals’ rights didn’t get swept under the rug) as well as diplomats.

Below is the cover of the book (ISBN 978-9970-001-90-3) as well as its blurb:

The book was sold in Aristoc at Garden City and Kampala Road and made brisk sales as far as I know. I need to check whether it is still available – which will indicate that more copies were printed after the first publication.

If you ever find a copy, buy it. It is well worth the read and I for one am very proud of the various gay men and women who contributed to bringing it to the light.

My Child Is Gay – Is It It My Fault?

Probably not! But possibly yes!

First the NO:

We are all a product of our genes AND/OR our upbringing. This means that no one, no one, is responsible for his/her race, skin color, physiology or sexuality. Anyone who claims that we are should first explain at precisely what point they made the decision to be of whatever race or height, or when they made a choice about who they would be attracted to. So, if straight people don’t choose to be straight (they just find themselves so) it is obvious that gay people don’t choose to be gay.

Sometimes, YES!

Parents are not responsible for their children’s sexuality in as much as they are born that way. And we know that most gay men and women are born that way.

But, we are also a product of our upbringing. Children cannot, of course, be held responsible for the way they are brought up. But someone else can; parents. It is no secret that some children are traumatized by witnessing domestic violence, and we know that the main perpetrators are men. There is ample anecdotal evidence from talking with my gay friends that they were traumatized by the violence and/or neglect they saw perpetrated against their mothers. Most gay men usually dote on their mothers and less so on their dads for reasons that are best dealt with separately. But where there is palpable antipathy to the dad, you just have to scratch the surface to find tales of drunkenness, brazen womanizing, aloofness, mendacity, indifference, neglect, violence, dead beat carelessness and/or absenteeism; all of which obviously traumatize if not alienate children. There is a strong case, therefore, for concluding that some male children may react to such trauma by identifying more with their mothers and, in turn, feeling more comfortable with their ‘softer’ side in later life. It stands to reason that some lesbians could equally reject their female side on account of childhood trauma.

Why, I hear some ask, isn’t everyone raised in a traumatic domestic environment gay then? Simple. Because we are all different and thus react to events around us differently.

The lesson from all this? Parents (and especially dads), keep your abusive, neglectful tendencies out of your homes. That will do nothing to stop your children who are born that way from being gay, but it might prevent those who are susceptible to being traumatized by your behavior from becoming gay if their sexuality has not been already set by the time your dysfunctionality affects them.

The sum total of this is that however it is caused, homosexuality is NOT a choice. It is NOT sinful or something to be ashamed of either. And the reason why it is not sinful is also simple. Something that we have no control over, which we are by factors that are beyond us cannot be a sin.

Sins are actions, not states of mind or being. So, one could argue that acting on one’s homosexual feelings is a sin because that involves actions. But that raises the question – WHY? Why is consensual sex between two adults a sin? Is it because someone is hurt? Who exactly is hurt by private, consensual sexual activity between adults?

Is it because the Bible says it is a sin? Again the question that this perennial refrain never answers is ‘why does the Bible say homosexual activity is a sin?’ It is apparent why the Bible says that theft (for instance) is a sin since someone gets hurt by another. But why is consensual gay activity a sin? I am not aware that anyone has ever answered that. The Bible says homosexual sex is a sin (check here for the difference between homosexuality and homosexual sex), but does not give any reason why it is. And since we are human beings, with the power of reasoning, doesn’t it stand to reason that we should have a good reason for calling something a sin? What then is the good reason for calling homosexuality and homosexual sex a sin?

But … this was about whether parents might be responsible for their children’s sexuality. My thinking is that for the most part they are not, but in a few cases they might be.

Related reading:

1. Nature or Nurture; does it matter?

2. Homosexuality and homo-sodomy; Are we splitting hairs?


George Michael’s Beau Flew the Coop Months Ago 1

The Pink Paper is reporting that George Michael’s long term boyfriend, Kenny Goss, left the relationship months ago on account of George Michael’s lack of control where drugs and anonymous sex are concerned. George Michael has admitted that he loves to cottage and cruise parks for sex, and his appetite for clandestine sex in public places has never ebbed, not even after being arrested in a Beverly Hills public toilet in a honey trap operation in 1998 and a drugs bust in London in 2008, also in a public toilet.

The thrill he finds in public toilets aside, George Michael (real name Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou) has also embarrassed himself a couple of times over driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, the most notable occasion coming in 2006 when he was found slumped over the wheel of his car in the wee hours in a drugged stupor. A few months later he crashed his car into stationary vehicles as he tried to make his way home – drugged and drunk. Talk about burning the candle at both ends.

When all is said and done, it cannot be denied that George Michael was one hell of a pretty boy in his heyday. Afrogay goes weak at the knees when he sees George Michael’s pictures of 15-20 years ago.

He was impossibly beautiful. Age hasn’t ravaged him as much as it has some other singers of yesteryear [money has certainly helped, no doubt] but one wonders what he is thinking, a man of his renown going out into public toilets and bushes for sexual trysts. George Michael has enough money to pay for whatever type of rent boy(s) to come to his house and do whatever he wants. He could literally hire a private jet every other week and fly boys from wherever and bring them to his house. Come to think of it, he could organize bush cruising in his home simply by erecting makeshift bushes, inviting men he has never seen and turning off the lights. Why on earth does he then resort to going to cheap and seedy toiles for his kicks? And how in Heaven’s name could he fail to see how humiliating such conduct was to Kenny Goss who was supposedly engaged to him? The mind boggles.

Georgios darling … it seems as though you haven’t heard of the Mohammedan saying“If Muhammad won’t go to the mountain, the mountain must come to Muhammad.” With your kind of money, you can have the drugs, cottage and the bush to come to you.

Just a thought.

My First Love 4

I was 12 going on 13 … He was about three years older than I was.

For the purpose of this blog, let us call him Robert.

I don’t quite remember how it all started but I know that I was a rather popular 12-year-old with the older boys. I was … ahem … kind of pretty and so these boys used to come up to me on the pretext that they wanted to use me as an intermediary to meet my sister whom they assumed to be as pretty as I was.

But Robert had far more class than that. He talked to me as though I were his equal and never once pretended that our increasingly long conversations had anything to do with my sister. Before I knew it, I found myself getting irritated with all the other boys who ingratiated themselves into my space with their mock pretense at getting to my sister. I mean, who were they fooling? My sister was in a totally different school, at least 30 miles away and what were these boys doing touching me all over if their real interest was in my sister? Now, don’t get me wrong, the attention of all those boys (and believe me there were more boys vying for my attention when I was in Senior One than I could get my head around) had mostly been flattering. And, truth be told, too, I didn’t mind being touched up on behalf of “my sister.”

But all that changed when Robert took an interest in me. Suddenly, the questions from other boys about my sister became an irritant and I stopped seeing the fun of being petted like a puppy and being held in tight squeezes by the boys with straining erections, and who always made it a point to try and monopolize me during the ‘bull’ dances that happened in our dormitory after lights out. Interestingly, Robert never once joined in the ‘bull’ dances and that is what made my increasing yearning for him to join in all the more bewildering for me. Why did I feel that he was the only one I wanted to dance with when they were all these boys (the bird in hand) who regularly ‘squeezed’ me and allowed me to touch them liberally anywhere up to and including guiding my hand to their throbbing dicks – something I came to do readily and willingly?

Within what must have been a period of about three months, I was spending more time with Robert than with my own peers; after class, when he came back from playing football (soccer), after supper, before lights out and after lights out. He, however, never once touched me up in any sexual way (it was the other grubby boys who did) and never attempted more than to just … talk. But we held hands a lot as we talked.

Sitting on the bed beside him, his football cleats stank and his football socks clearly needed washing. But dirty football cleats and smelly socks had never smelled so good in my life. The truth is that I even adored the stench of Robert’s dirty soccer gear.

And then one night, after lights out, he kissed me. Here, too, I don’t know how it came about, but one moment we were holding hands and talking absentmindedly as we always did, and the next our lips were locked together. My world literally came to a standstill. I was transported into at least three stratospheres with ecstasy. It would be an understatement to say that, in that moment, I lost all my senses. Eventually, somehow, I managed to extricate myself from what seemed like an eternal lip-lock, and breathlessly but, strangely, calmly bade Robert goodnight and staggered to my bed. To this day, I have no idea how I got there or how I managed to climb the double decker. I don’t recall whether I slept that night or not but it is safe to say that my life was turned inside out with that kiss.

I had never been kissed by nor kissed anyone like that before; the gentleness, the passion, the naturalness of it was dizzying. That kiss remains to this day as vivid as though it were yesterday and I still find myself asking myself whether I have really ever felt as I did when Robert kissed me. Call it a childish crush but that was the first time that I actually felt like I was walking on cloud nine.

The following day, life carried on as usual. I met Robert on the way to class, we exchanged a cursory nod – like nothing had happened between us the night before – and went about our separate schools days. That night, we found ourselves on the same bed, holding hands and … yes we kissed again. It was then that it finally hit me that the first time had not been a dream after all. The second time was as intoxicating as the first and, again, I kind of tottered back to my bed in a daze. The questions as to whether this was really right were swirling in my mind of course, but what I felt was simply too good, too real for me to be bothered by the morality or correctness of what I was sharing with Robert. And the sharing went on for the rest of the term, with me staying up later and later, night after night, talking and kissing with what had now become the epicenter of my life. I was irretrievably, hopelessly in love.

One or two of my friends eventually raised it with me that Robert was kissing me after lights out and I just laughed it off. The truth is that I didn’t care what they thought or said; I was so completely, madly, in love with Robert that anything anyone said would have been water off a duck’s back. In retrospect, it is impossible that most of the other boys didn’t know what was going on. Our shenanigans went on in a open-plan dormitory, albeit with the lights off. When we stared into each others eyes, time stood still, and this happened often in broad daylight. It is inconceivable that the other boys didn’t notice this. I guess we were simply too besotted with each other to care. I think that the reason why our blatant goings on didn’t raise open gossip was that Robert was a sportsman of some renown in the school. His sports prowess gave him a ‘celebrity’ status that stopped boys who surely knew what was happening from running their mouths openly about it. Robert was too important an athlete, and also too nice a person, so no one really dared embarrass him by blabbering about his nonacademic activities with a younger boy.

Our affair spilled over into the mid-year holidays. I returned home for the holidays but not before we exchanged postal addresses. To me, Robert had the most beautiful handwriting I had ever seen next to God’s. I lived desperately for his love letters. And they came like clockwork, I think weekly. I devoured every beautifully crafted word and would read the sign off ” I love you” at least five hundred times. My letters were no doubt as deep and involved but it is not for me to describe them. Suffice to say that by this time I was a total emotional wreck over Robert.

We returned for the third and final term of that year. Robert had to read for the exams that would determine where he went for his high school. Our affair continued throughout that entire term and through his exams. As if sensing that time was running out, our kissing sessions became more frantic and our conversations took on added intensity.

Robert was a star student and, of course, he did well enough in his exams to qualify to return to the same school for his high school. Over the Christmas holidays, though, our letters became less intense and and frequent. By the time I returned for my next class in the new year, I had grown a litlte more of course. Robert returned a couple of months later as a high school student and he was now resident in the high school dormitory. We bumped into each other about two days after he returned to school, exchanged greetings and carried on. No words were needed for either of us to know that it was over. Interestingly, I wasn’t devastated or anything like that. Robert had shown me the best life of my young life and I couldn’t find it in me to see him as anything other than my first hero.

Of course I moved on to other conquests but none of the ‘affairs’ that happened thereafter (mostly with boys my age) reached the same level of intensity or wanton abandon. I guess I was older, less glassy eyed and therefore more guarded. Chances are, though, that it was a question of the first cut being the deepest.

As in Abba’s Our Last Summer, I gather that Robert is now working in a bank, a family man and a sports fan. How dull it seems … yet he still is the hero of my youthful dreams.

I can still recall, our first kiss, I can see it all …