I’m getting Jason Collined out! 2

When the announcement came that Jason Collins was/is gay, it was absolutely welcome news from where I was sitting. So, I read his coming out story in Sports Illustrated and raised a glass to wish him well in the basketball career that he wants to continue with.

But now I am wondering about whether I haven’t heard enough. He is apparently giving all sorts of interviews, speaking to every celebrity and their house help, will go on Oprah with his “family” and … and … and …

While I see all the benefits of Collins coming out, albeit in the twilight of his career, I am beginning to wonder whether he is well advised to turn his coming out story into a ring circus.

Overkill? Jason Collins

Overkill? Jason Collins

Yes, finally having a 7ft, 255lbs sportsman who’s been in the game for 12 years come out as gay is groundbreaking, historical stuff. But unless Jason Collins himself looks at it as an event that must quickly reach its dénouement, he runs the risk of making it look as though the coming out is more important than his sports prowess.

Yet, in my view, the real story is that a gay man is standing before us saying to the world that there is really no physical difference between a good gay athlete and a straight one. End of story, game-set-and-and-match.

So, I am going to presume and tell Jason Collins what to do.

Jason dear:

You have made history in America. You have opened the gates I am sure for many long-suffering gay athletes. You have proved to doubters that there is really nothing to fear from a gay athlete who might be playing at the highest levels of basketball or any other sports for that matter. You have shed the yolk of silence and lies about your sexuality that might have otherwise choked you. You have blazed the trail and long may you live to enjoy the fruits of your decision to come out.

Now, hunker down, focus on finding a team that will have you as a gay man and continue playing the best basketball you can. Remember that your work isn’t done yet; indeed your work as a gay athlete of some renown is just beginning.

If you can talk to Oprah tomorrow, you can talk to her next month or even next year. Same with all the clamoring journalists who likely had never heard of you ten days ago but are now writing about you as though they were/are you other twin.

You have made the point, Jason Collins. Go away, keep to yourself and your real loved ones and focus on your future and what you want to do with it. Otherwise, the more you talk to the press, the more you will create the impression that your homosexuality and coming out is a bigger story than the fact that you have made it to the highest levels of a professional sports known for its physicality and machismo and made a reasonable impression – as a gay man.

There is really nothing more to say about your sexuality or decision to come out, Jason. Not to Oprah, not to Michelle Obama and certainly not to the fawning press.

Move on.

Gay sportsmen look like any other sportsmen you have seen 3

What does a 7ft, 255lb (116kg) gay basketball player look like?

NBA's Jason Collins come out

NBA’s Jason Collins come out

Jason Collins has tried to answer the question. No, he has answered the question: just like any other basketball player. Check out his beautiful coming-out story in Sports Illustrated.

In circumstances like these, one’s opinions are rarely apt. Suffice it to say that Collins’ own words say it best. Money quote:

Imagine you’re in the oven, baking. Some of us know and accept our sexuality right away and some need more time to cook. I should know — I baked for 33 years.

When I was younger I dated women. I even got engaged. I thought I had to live a certain way. I thought I needed to marry a woman and raise kids with her. I kept telling myself the sky was red, but I always knew it was blue.

Father Musaala blows the lid off priestly sexual abuse in Uganda (Africa) 234

Father Anthony Musaala

Father Anthony Musaala

It’s an Exocet missile, and a timely one, too. Father Anthony Musaala has broken ranks and opened the lid on Catholic sexual abuse of children and adult women in Uganda.

Father Musaala’s letter speaks for itself so there is no need to add much at this time. Suffice it to say that yours truly and many others have personal experience and knowledge of priestly and ‘brotherly’ sexual abuse of children and women as well as the rampant disregard for priestly vows of celibacy. Father Antony Musaala must be supported.

*****************************

FR ANTHONY MUSAALA

MIREMBE GARDENS

PO BOX 30329

KAMPALA
Tuesday 12th March 2013

AN OPEN LETTER TO BISHOPS, PRIESTS AND  LAITY:  THE FAILURE OF CELIBATE CHASTITY AMONG DIOCESAN PRIESTS.

It is an open secret that many catholic priests and some bishops, in Uganda and elsewhere, no longer live celibate chastity.

From the numerous cases on the ground one might be forgiven for saying that   most diocesan priests either don’t believe in celibacy anymore, or if they do, have long since given up the struggle to be chaste.

In any case it still seems important for priests  to vow  even a woefully imperfect celibacy, if only for the sake of  the hallowed ‘priestly image’.

The church however still maintains the fable that most catholic priests persevere in celibate chastity fairly well, which fiction begs belief.

ALL IS NOT WELL

All is definitely not well with what I call ‘administrative celibacy’, in the catholic church. It is a celibacy which is more forced than consented to, and  its effects are anything but good.

I suggest  that now more than at any other time, we must begin an open and frank dialogue about  catholic priests  becoming happily married men, rather than being miserable and single, either before or after ordination.

Although this may be quite a shock to many, but the alternative may be far worse. What do you think  happens when lapses and scandals by priests, sisters,brothers and bishops continue unabated , whether hidden or not?

My forecast is that we will have  a few more years of catholic self-deception; perhaps ten, telling ourselves  and the world that  everything is Ok, nothing serious. Then more scandals will surface.

As people become more enlightened (as in Europe)  there will be a crisis of faith, perhaps a sudden  collapse, with many leaving the church, either to join other churches (whose pastors may be no better, but who appear to be less hypocritical about it), or to become agnostics, especially the middle classes.

One must remember that there are other challenges facing the church, such as general weakening of faith, loss of sacramental life, low incomes, dull liturgies, and the challenges of the media. Many of the youth ( not the children) are already alienated from Catholicism and are easy prey to proselytizing groups.

FACING THE NAKED TRUTH

The number of catholic priests and bishops who are sexually active in Uganda is unknown, but almost everywhere   unedifying stories  of priests ‘sexploits’, are not hard to come by. These stories are told in counseling or as anecdotes,or by the media. They are told within the parishes and beyond. They are told at home in families, in  taxis, in hair salons and in the markets.

What is talked about? Priests’ secret and not so secret liaisons with  girls and women,  coerced sex with house-maids, with students, with relatives;  priests ‘wives’ set up in well established homes;  priests involved with a parishioner’s wife;  of priests romantically involved  with religious Sisters;  priests offering money for sex, and so on…

If you add to this, a fair  number of priests’ and bishops’ children scattered around the nation,  who are carefully hidden from view (and not so carefully!), not to mention children who are  aborted at  priests’ behest, we begin to get the true picture of human weakness, whose consequences are nothing less than catastrophic both for the priest and his partners, and which cannot be concealed by  taking a vow of celibacy, or by retreats and more prayers.

LETS LEARN FROM EUROPE AND AMERICA

While in Europe and the States, the scandal of numerous paedophile priests, whose victims  are rightly suing the catholic church is widely reported in the media, very little by contrast is heard about priests and bishops in Africa who continue  sexually abusing female minors (or vulnerable women) with no legal action taken.

Obviously time has come for serious measures  to be undertaken,  similar to those in Europe and America. Apart from legal action in civil and ecclesiastical courts aginst offenders, strict  ‘child protection’ codes and practices, must be enforced, by the state which for instance should prohibit young or vulnerable females from residing in parish houses, where some of the abuses occur.

THE SINS OF DECEPTION AND SILENCE

Thus the unnecessary and unpalatable deception  about celibate priests, that they are chaste when they are not is clearly  contradicted by what is on the ground. The deception is of course not tenable for much longer.

Surely we must first tell ourselves the truth as a church, that is to say, that celibacy has failed or is failing us, and then also tell the world which we have been deceiving  the naked truth, before we are completely overtaken by events.

Unfortunately there is  an ominous unhealthy conspiracy of silence  about these matters among the Ugandan clergy and faithful alike, probably because priestly celibacy might  be seen to be a hollow shell, which it mostly is nowadays.

The  laity for all their good will, are also co-opted into this unwholesome silence, sometimes for lack of information, sometimes  because they believe that they have some ‘moral’ duty to be loyal to an imperfect church. In truth  their silence shores up the sins of priests and the destroys many lives.

MARRIED PRIESTS NOT WANTED FOR THE WRONG REASONS

When I ask lay people whether catholic priests should have the option to marry the answer is always NO; since they say, that would make catholic priests like Anglican reverends! As if that was the worse possible  fate, yet Anglican clergy who are married certainly do not have  the same levels and same kinds of sexual lapses as their catholic counterparts..

Most lay people in Uganda would not like their priests to have the option of marriage, yet it is their very own children, sisters, wives who are  being used  and abused by the clergy!

THE CAMPAIGN

A campaign for optional married priesthood in the catholic church is now required. This  campaign is primarily a form of education and purification. It is not be construed as a rebellion against  established doctrine but a reading of the signs of the times

Since there are no fundamental theological arguments against a married priesthood (there are already some married priests in he UK and Uniate catholic churches) but only arguments from tradition and church discipline, I believe that it is a matter of time before common sense prevails and marriage for the clergy in the latin rite (i.e. catholic) church is accepted..

I am aware that  there is a big struggle ahead.Unfortunately celibacy also serves certain vested interests in the power structure of the church, and of course celibate priests are cheaper and easier to deal with, even to manipulate, by ecclesiastical authority, but I believe that in time we will be freed from this unecessary yoke, unhelpful as it is, which is all the more severe in Africa where family and family ties are so crucial to one’s psychological equilibrium..

PERSONAL INTEREST

One factor which has prompted me to take up this campaign  is my own biography. I am one of a handful of several priests who had the misfortune of appearing in the press for supposed sexual trespasses.

In my case,which was 2009, it was cited that I must be a homosexual, because I had homosexual friends and went to homosexual gatherings. Not that I cared much whether or not someone thinks that I am homosexual. Certainly I have been called worse things than that.

In my defence  I tried to point out that I didn’t actually recall having had homosexual relations with any of my rabid accusers, neither did they; which meant that  hearsay alone became the evidence .

What I found troubling is what followed.  Apart from all the pain and scandal caused to all concerned, I found that even though all the allegations were based on hearsay, I was being treated, by my superiors as the biggest sinner in Nineveh.

Up till now  judgements   are being made against me by ecclesiastical authority in the light of  those events, which I suppose  is to be expected. I wondered about this and came to the conclusion that priests who ‘get caught.’  like me,  have to pay for the sins of all those who don’t get caught.

In other words failed celibacy requires scapegoats.Some clergy are able to get away with the grossest behaviour, because of their age, position, influence or  even because of financial inducements.

So while I appear to have little moral authority to talk about celibacy as a priestly virtue because of what may or may not have happened to me in 2009,  nevertheless I can point out the systemic immorality of the institutionalized hypocrisy called celibate diocesan priesthood, which severely punishes lapses when they appear, but condones the secret crimes of  many more.

I believe that there must be a new openness at whatever  it takes. The point is  not that diocesan priests should  leave the priesthood and get married, but compel the church to offer the option of a married priesthood. This will put an end to the double lives so many priests  are forced to live.

SOME CASES HEARD

Case One

I spoke with a 21 year old young man last week. He is one of seven children of  a catholic priest who happens to still be serving within the Province of the Archdiocese of Kampala. The young man, who is willing to testify, lived in a parish house with his father priest, even serving on the altar with him, but having to pretend to be a visiting nephew.

At times he was assisted by his father to go to school, but was later abandoned. On one occasion  he drank poison in order to end his life, due to the trauma, but was taken to hospital before he died.

Case Two

Another is a personal friend. He was fathered by a missionary priest of the White Fathers 58 years ago but is still suffering the trauma of no real identity or home.

Although he has since  received some minimum compensation from the White fathers , he still feels that there was an injustice to his  mother who is still alive , who was sexually assaulted by the said White father priest in his office when she was only sixteen. He wishes to sue.

Case Three

Another case is of a priest who seduced a member of  my youth group who happened to be in need of school fees, at Old Kampala,  She soon became pregnant by the said priest, disappeared from church activities and from her home to be established in a ‘home’.

Case Four

Another lady tells of  how she went to confession, only to be sexually molested by the priest, who fondled her breasts during confession

Case Five

When I was at secondary school, it was common knowledge that various Brothers were having sexual activity with the boys. It was called ‘jaboo’. As a pubescent teenager, my first sexual encounter was actually with one of the brothers who invited me to his room on the pretext of doing some extra chemistry equations. I was sixteen at the time. Later I heard that several others had been through the same thing..with the same Brother and with other ones..Some are still alive to this day.

ACTION REQUIRED

I do not believe either that these cases are just a few ‘bad apples’ in the barrel, but rather they are symptomatic of a sick system which has lost its integrity in this one area, but won’t admit it.

Some of these cases are clearly criminal in nature, especially those of sex with children. They should be dealt with in a normal fashion and legal action  taken in civil courts either against the church, or against those priests who offend.

I am therefore compiling cases from all over Uganda.I believe that if the all the  victims of clearly  molestations were to  come out and sue the church in civil courts, such abuses would sharply decrease.

I am also  helping to set up a Victims Support Group, independent of the church for obvious reasons, with guidance and help from similar groups in Europe and the States.

I have also engaged a Human rights lawyer to advise on the wider implications of clergy abuse on the basic human rights of individuals, especially women.

Join me in this exciting challenge to bring fundamental change and renewal  to the catholic church.

Happy Easter

FR. ANTHONY MUSAALA

A tale of a self-outed and an ignorant football player

One ex-football player Kwame Harris, exposed his homosexuality over a plate of rice. The other, current football players Chris Culliver, exposed his  lack of education over … I am not sure what.

Ex NFL player (Kwame Harris) & current player (Chris Culliver)

Ex NFL player (Kwame Harris) & current player (Chris Culliver)

Kwame Harris’ homosexuality came out in a way that he can’t have really wanted or appreciated but, hey, stuff happens. He must be wondering why he and his ex-boyfriend didn’t simply order another plate of rice (the dispute that ended up outing Kwame Harris happened over soy sauce poured on a plate of rice) but one suspects that he is also relieved his gay secret it out. The truth tends to set you free.

Now, as for big-toothed but empty-mind Chris Culliver, he must be wondering how he arrived in 2013 without really getting an education. The time he spent in tattoo parlors could have been better spent learning something about humanity.

Culliver’s team has rapped his knuckles for his ignorant comments – he is already playing with homosexual players he doesn’t know even by his own reasoning,  so for him to suppose that gay players are roaming the locker room waiting to see him naked is dumb – and I can assure you he will be issuing clarifications left, right and center before the weekend is out.

Unfortunately for poor Chris Culliver, his San Francisco 49ers will still not win the Super Bowl.

Go Baltimore, go!

A lot of gay young men are feeling Manti Te’o's pain 2

Harboring a secret: Manti Te'o

Harboring a secret: Manti Te’o

Check out this rather odd story about a college American football player called Manti Te’o. I chose to go with the BBC version because, to me, it hints best at the elephant in the room that most American media are not mentioning.

Let yours truly cut to the chase here.

Manti Te’o in collusion with or with the tacit nod from some officials from his college made up a phantom online girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, likely to keep prying eyes and minds at bay about his sexuality.

For an inexplicable reason, Te’o gave the girlfriend leukemia and announced that she was dead, thus ending the 3-year “relationship.” Then a nosy press man checked and found out that the girlfriend had never existed and it was all a hoax.

Why would a college student go to such lengths?

I did what most thinking people would do: put myself in Te’o's place.

Te'o's lover? Ronaiah Tuiasosop0o helped perpetrate the fraud.

Te’o's lover? Ronaiah Tuiasosop0o helped perpetrate the fraud.

The only conclusion I can come up with for this elaborate hoax (I don’t believe it that no Notre Dame official  knew about the deception in the three years it happened) is that Te’o had a secret that required him to make up a make-believe internet girlfriend.

My small brain comes up with just one plausible explanation. Te’o knew he was gay and decided on the hoax to try and keep it a secret. He was able to “truly” grieve at her  “death” because he was really crying about the pain he felt that he had to go to such ludicrous lengths to maintain his dark secret.

The ruse is extremely old and many a young man, including yours truly, has used it for exactly the reasons Te’o must have done: to fit in as well as hide his dark secret. What makes it noteworthy at all is that Te’o is still see-sawing  from admitting he made it all up to saying that it was really true, Kekua existed.

Te’o dear. It’s over. The secret is out. I don’t know what kind of reception you will get from your teammates on whatever professional football team you end up on, but it’s now best to come clean and let the chips fall where they may. You are still young so you have your best life ahead of you. Make sure you enjoy it – living as truthfully as you can.

Good luck with your newly found worldwide fame.

Ted Haggard endorses gay unions 1

“Pastor” Ted Haggard and the male prostitute he slept with for years while he was preaching against gay sex

Ted Haggard, he who used to be president of the rabidly homophobic National Association of Evangelicals, is slowly but inexorably heading in the direction his maker destined for him: acceptance that his homosexuality is not a sin even though the hypocrisy he showed by condemning homosexuals while he was sleeping with male prostitutes likely angered his creator.

Here is our Haggard postulating about gay unions:

“The word marriage is a big deal to people of faith,” Haggard told the magazine. “We’ve made it sacred. That’s why I believe that churches, synagogues, mosques and temples should have total freedom to have whatever types of unions they believe is godly.”

“But I think that we as a democratic society, as a constitutional republic – if we don’t respect individual civil liberties, then we’re making a horrific mistake. The church is in the early stages of another ‘the Earth is flat’ crisis. I say to all religious people that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry on the subject. Or we’re going to be embarrassed in another 10 or 20 years,” he added.

Well, well, well! Talk about a gradual transformation on the road to Damascus.

As they say, it is not where a man has been, but where he is going, that really matters. Keep going Ted, please keep going.

Related Articles:

Gay men can’t be cured, but they must still desist from gay sex!! 3

“Being gay can’t be cured … gay Christians will go to heaven … Just don’t have any kind of sex if you are gay.”Exodus International‘s Alan Chambers

If you are heterosexual male or female, what type of sex should you have? Straight sex of course.

If you are a homosexual male or female (and even the rabidly convulsed Vatican acknowledges that there are people who are nothing else but gay), what type of sex should you have?

Following the logic of the question, it should be … gay sex of course.

But we don’t live in logical times and Exodus International, the organization that has spent an entire generation, and hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to prove that you can be cured of your homosexuality, is now trying to wriggle and writhe regarding precisely that question.

First a drum roll …. Exodus International has finally admitted that it is impossible to be cured of one’s homosexuality. We are who we are and our sexuality is what we are regardless of whether we run to Christian teaching,  marry women and/or have children. That has been confirmed by none other than Exodus’ current President, Alan Chambers, who has long insisted that he was cured of homosexuality and is happily married with children. By his own admission,  Alan Chambers has been living a lie albeit it with a wife and children to buttress the façade of being totally straight.

In fact, circumstances may exist, or may have existed in the past, which would reduce or remove the culpability of the individual [to be homosexual] in a given instance; or other circumstances may increase it. (On the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, 1986)

Yes, that means that Alan Chambers has lived a hypocritical existence – by claiming that homosexuals can be cured of their feelings when his own supposedly cured homosexual hormones were raging uncontrollably deep within him.

Money quote:

Mr. Chambers … said that virtually every “ex-gay” he has ever met still harbors homosexual cravings, himself included. Mr. Chambers, who left the gay life to marry and have two children, said that gay Christians like himself faced a lifelong spiritual struggle to avoid sin and should not be afraid to admit it. He said Exodus could no longer condone reparative therapy, which blames homosexuality on emotional scars in childhood and claims to reshape the psyche. And in a theological departure that has caused the sharpest reaction from conservative pastors, Mr. Chambers said he believed that those who persist in homosexual behavior could still be saved by Christ and go to heaven. …“But we’ve been asking people with same-sex attractions to overcome something in a way that we don’t ask of anyone else,” he said, noting that Christians with other sins, whether heterosexual lust, pornography, pride or gluttony, do not receive the same blanket condemnations.         . 

Which brings one to the curious recommendation Chambers’ Exodus has for gay men and women: your homosexual feelings are sinful. Despite the fact that we don’t ask heterosexuals to forego their pleasures that we also deem sinful, you homosexuals should nonetheless not act on your [natural] gay feelings.

Really? Seriously?

R&B singer, Frank Ocean, comes out 2

Frank Ocean

Now, this is a “listen up world, I am gay” revelation that I think is worth expending some time on. I don’t know Frank Ocean from Adam but he surely sounds like a grounded, young, gay black man who has decided to give up the ghost – without the cushion of a highly successfully R&B funded bank account to fall back to in the [likely] event that the fall-out from his coming out should affect his career adversely.That makes Ocean’s decision to come out anyway very brave, far more brave than Elton John’s (for instance) who came out when he was already  a multi-millionaire ten times over so that his coming out didn’t really make any difference to a career he’d already established.

To put it in context, Luther Vandross never came out despite the fact that he wouldn’t have had anything to lose – he was already well established in the depths of his most wrenching struggles with his sexuality. So, one can argue that had he come out, he would have had a far less traumatic time than he did, grappling with his sexuality.  After all, he wouldn’t have had to worry about losing his accomplishments – he was already a household (and rich) crooner by the time he turned 40.

Money quote from Frank Ocean:

“We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. Sleep I would often share with him. ”By the time I realised I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. ”There was no escaping, no negotiating to the women I had been with, the ones I cared for and thought I was in love with.”

Aah.

In contrast, if you are still interested, you can check out Anderson Cooper‘s “hey world, the sky is blue” coming out ‘news’ of a few days ago. Ricky Martin, too, came out a couple of years ago in a similar fashion – when everyone who was interested already knew … and didn’t give a hoot.

Thank heavens for small mercies.

Exodus International’s failed message exported to Jamaica

Exodus International, the rabidly anti-gay organization based in the United States, is in trouble.

Pink News is reporting that Exodus has run out of money in the United States where the sort of climate that used to be fertile ground for Exodus’ sponsorship has changed for the worse. Gays are now serving openly in the US military if they wish to come out, gay marriage is inching forward in the States, gay mayors and state legislators are taking up elected office all over the country and President Obama is threatening Third World despots with sanctions if they don’t respect gay rights – with hardly a murmur from the American public. The anti-gay fight in America has all but been lost and Exodus’ loss of financial support in that country is the culmination of this defeat.

The ad placed in Jamaica’s Sunday Express

So, as Pink News is reporting, they are turning to Jamaica where their hate-filled message still finds resonance with full page ads spewing the same nonsense that has been rejected in Exodus’ country. This is truly a case of  turning ‘not in my backyard (NIMBY) on its head; Exodus’ has failed to hold the interest of its own people, so they must try and cultivate that of the bigots they can find or create elsewhere.

You may recall that Exodus International was one of the groups behind the anti-gay campaign that was unleashed in Uganda in 2009, which in turn formed the basis of the Bahati Nazi ‘kill the gays’ bill of 2009 that caught fire, got the world to sit up and notice Uganda, and turned David Bahati into an international figure of infamy.

They are clearly going down, but they will not do so quietly. That is why it makes sense to keep an eye on the last kicks of this dying horse.

Related reading:

1. Caribbean Christians attack gay law repeal

Since I published this, a correction has been made. The ad above appeared in the Trinidad Express, not Jamaica’s Sunday Express. 

Yet another Republican politician outs himself!

Mayor Greg Davis

It is as consistent as it is tired. As Whitney Houston once famously sang, it is the characters that are different – the script is exactly the same.

Lights, camera, now you’re on.
Just remember you’ve been warned.
Enjoy it now, ’cause it won’t last.
Same script, different cast.

This time it is the Republican mayor from Mississippi who has consistently run on the platform of “family values” whose judgement lapsed and he outed himself with his purchases from a gay sex shop. Married with three children, he got divorced from his wife a short while back. He has now been forced to admit he has always been gay by an audit that revealed he had used city funds in a gay porn shop in Canada.

Sigh.

Trust me, he will not be the last. It will be only a matter of time before yet another “happily married to a woman” Republican politician outs himself.

No, no, no. They will never learn – learning is for those who choose to exercise their will to do so.

Related reading:

1. Anti Gay pastor arrested for public masturbation
2.  Prominent men outed by their gay proclivities
3. Republican Hinkle outed by his gay sex johns
4. Puerto Rico anti-gay Republican outs himself
5. Can being gay be cured?