If you don’t have one, AfroGay is hoping that by the time you get to the end of this you will consider getting one … or two.
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| Jack rabbit |
Everyone I know wants a man in his life. Some people don’t admit it so readily but when you scratch the surface, everyone wants a man now and then. Some want long lasting good, old fashioned, love and happiness. Others want a hot and steamy session with someone who transports them to giddy heights of ecstasy. All the above require a man to deliver.
Or do they?
It was in Sex and the City that prudish Charlotte was introduced to the rabbit vibrator and she went totally gaga about it, refusing to go out with the girls because she couldn’t bear to tear her vagina away from her rabbit. I don’t know if you have watched that episode but in the end it took the intervention of the girls to free Charlotte from her rabbit craze. They had to go up to Charlotte’s apartment, physically rip the rabbit out of her horny belonging and drag her back into the world outside. And who can forget Miranda’s consternation when, horny as a sex starved bitch, she opened her goodie drawer and found that her pontificating housekeeper, Magda, had replaced her vibrator with a statue of the Virgin Mary? Ha, Ha, Ha. Or when insatiable Samantha’s vibrator conked out on her at a crucial stage when she was pleasuring herself?
As the women in Sex and the City so memorably illustrated, sex toys have a place to play in our lives – if we let them in. AfroGay recommends that every gay man and woman, be they in a relationship or not, should have a goodie closet, or at least what AfroGay calls the man in the closet under the sink. For the sake of simplicity, however, AfroGay is going to use ‘man’ in a gender neutral manner. Women, too, need to have their man under the bathroom closet of course.
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| The man in the closet under the bathroom sink |
The advantages of the man under the sink are so clear that to list them all risks veering into redundancy. Take the plainest and simplest one; silence. The man under the sink doesn’t nag, doesn’t yell, doesn’t sulk, doesn’t lie to you, doesn’t guilt you into talking to him because he is … silent. If you haven’t experienced the bullshit grown men can spew out in broad daylight, believe me continue to pray that you don’t. Whereas drama used to exclusively refer to play acting on stage or the movies, grown men nowadays come with so much drama that you sometimes have to pinch yourself to confirm that what you are hearing is actually real. The man under the sink has no drama, no verbal garbage to rile your mind, and certainly no foolishness to drive you nuts.
Now, I don’t know if you have experienced it … you know, you are up and ready for it, the juices are flowing, your heart is about to burst out of your chest in excitement … then, you put your hand again down there and, eergh, soft, soft, soft. Your man of the moment has gone limp on you, and you have to work at your tricks to get him up again.
The man under the sink doesn’t have wilting willy issues. He is ready when you are not ready, he is ready when you are ready. He is the quintessential 24/7 ever-ready man.
I have heard of stories of men that drive into you mercilessly as though they are unblocking a stubbornly blocked drainage. What about those who try too hard, pummeling you so hard you might as well be a cast iron mortar? Then there are the over-the-top, porn movie, jack hammer, types who show no sense of sensitivity whatever that there is a human being underneath them. At least the porn actors have a reason to be insensitively frenetic; they are putting it on for the cameras, no doubt with that $500.00 check at the end of the session driving them.
The other reason why the man under the sink has a lot to recommend him is that, unlike the egotistical male who carries on as though he knows everything there is to know about how to please a man, the man under the sink does exactly what you want him to do. Afrogay would recommend that anyone who wants to learn how to get sexual satisfaction from any penetration start themselves off with the good, old fashioned, dildo. The reason for that is simple; there is nothing like being able to control the entire process of what goes into you if you are trying to confirm how you want to be ‘done.’ By the time you find a hot blooded man you are ready to explore with, you know your anatomy, and exactly how you want the real man to present himself into you because you have practiced on your own. The only issue you have to contend with is making sure that the real man listens to your body. The man under the sink will always listen because you are totally in charge so there is yet another reason why you should never dismiss him out of hand.
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| Choice; take your pick |
The other advantage, of course, is that you can choose the size you want – a luxury most of us don’t have since we get what we get when the real man takes his drawers off. Imagine the disappointment of picking up a 6’5″ man, built like a bull and oozing raw sex appeal only to undress him and find that his dick is the size of a baby’s pinkie. It is dreadful, utterly disappointing.
Rather than guess about what you might get, or getting your hopes worked up and then dashed, you can always buy a number of dildos and treat yourself to whichever catches your fancy. In the United States, dildos range from $12.00 to anywhere over $60.00 depending on what you want and where you go to look for your goodies. With such a wide price range you can’t fail to find a dildo that works with and for you. Wink, wink.
Last, but not least, the man under the sink is not jealous. He will wait for you to go to him when you want and is not going to ask you where you have been in the last four months, why you have been speaking with so many other men, or why you were groping Nubian Mandingo’s crotch under the table. The man under the sink minds his own business, and unfailingly minds yours when you need him. Owning him doesn’t preclude having a steady relationship or seeing other men which is yet another advantage.
In a nutshell, keeping a man under your bathroom sink is a win-win situation because it allows you to have a fall-back whenever the men who talk back, cum too quickly or wilt mid-action disappoint you. You can think of it as having the best of both worlds or … as the reliable alternative that is always there for you as you continue to search for the perfect two legged specimen.
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